●作者のサイト"Cobwebs From the Attic of the Mind"「心の屋根裏部屋に張られた蜘蛛の巣」(心の奥底にある、繊細だがこびり付いたら容易に取り去り難い感情の象徴か?)のトップページに書かれている注釈:
Not all, but many of the stories on this page are SLASH - ie, they contain depictions of a romantic and/or sexual relationship between two characters of the same gender - in this case, male.

すべてがそうだというわけではありませんが、このサイトに収録されている作品の多くは、いわゆるスラッシュという類の作品に該当します − すなわち、性別が同じ2人の登場人物 − ここでは男性ですが − の恋愛かつ/もしくは性的な関係に関する描写が含まれています。
Slash stories are clearly marked as such. If you a) have a problem with this, b) are underage, or c) just would rather not read it, you know what to avoid!

ここで言うスラッシュ作品は、文字通りスラッシュ作品という意味です。なのでもし、あなたが a) この種のものに対して抵抗がある場合、b) 未成年である場合、もしくは c) 単に読まないほうがいいと思われる場合において、何を避けるべきか、もうご存知でらっしゃいますよね!
A note about ratings
I refuse to give a slash story a higher rating purely on the grounds that it's slash. Double standards, to me, are wrong. If the lovebirds in question don't exchange anything more than longing looks, I'm not going to slap a big fat 'R' on it just because they're two guys.
Do something worthy of an R, and then they'll get one. *g*


This page last updated April 1, 2001


All of the stories on this page are (c) Madelyn Scott 1998-2001. The characters are (c) their wonderful creators, listed on the disclaimers for each story. I'm not borrowing them for profit, just for fun.

このページ上のすべての作品の著作権はメイドリン・ スコットに帰属し、登場人物の著作権は各作品の免責事項の欄に挙げてある素晴らしい製作者の方々に帰属します。私は営利目的ではなく、単に娯楽のために彼らを拝借しているにすぎません。

If you enjoyed a story, I'd love to hear your feedback! :)

Most of the fic here is and will be in the slightly more unusual fandoms. Oh, and this is a happy sort of page - don't expect to read anything that ends without at least a note of hope. Call me an optimist.

ここに掲載した作品のほとんどは、今も、そして、これからも、普通のファンフィックとはちょっと毛色が違うことでしょう。おお、そしてこのサイトはハッピーなお話を集めたサイトです − 少しも希望が持て(note=気配)ぬような結末を読まされることは無いと保証いたします。楽天主義者と呼んでやってくださいな。
Lawrence of Arabia




NC17, slash

「17歳以下は禁止(No One 17 And Under Admittedの略。かつての「X指定」と同等)」、男性同士の恋愛もの

Assignment to the Emir Feisal's staff is all TE Lawrence has ever wanted to satisfy his dreams of adventure, but he never expects to become so bound up with the Arab cause - or to fall so hopelessly in love.

長年、冒険という夢の実現を願い続けてきたTE・ロレンスにとって、エミル(注2)・ファイサルの参謀に任じられたことはまさに、願ったり叶ったりのことであった。だが、自分がこれ程までにアラブ(注3)独立運動(cause=主義)に深く関わることになろうとは − あるいはこれ程までにかなわぬ恋に落ちることになるとは、夢にも思わぬことであった。

Moth to the Flame

by Madelyn Scott

Disclaimer: The following is a work of FICTION based upon TE Lawrence and the Arab revolt. The meeting at Jeddah took place, as did Lawrence's meeting with Feisal at al Hamra, and the attempted attack by the Turkish army on Yenbo, but they are presented here in fictionalized form. The remaining scenes and dialog are purely the author's imagination, and this story in no way means to suggest that any of them occurred, or that Lawrence, Feisal, or any of the people on whom the characters in this story are based thought or behaved as they do here.

TE Lawrence's journal
Jeddah, 16 October 1916:

'Military intelligence' is often a contradiction in terms.
「軍諜報機関」くらい皮肉な言い回しには滅多にお目にかかれないだろう(注:a contradiction in terms=論理学上の名辞矛盾。intelligenceと言いながらアラブの実情に疎いという皮肉)。

The British consulate is still intractably of the opinion that the Arabs have absolutely no sense of co-ordination amongst themselves, and that the only certain method of protecting Rabegh from a sudden Turkish assault would be the assignment of a British unit. Ronald Storrs, my Cairo colleague and a most decent character, disagreed, saying that the Arabs would consider the arrival of Christian troops a defilement of Muslim soil, and thought that the tribes in the area sympathetic to the Hashemite cause would be likely to abandon it altogether. After Emir Sherif Abdullah, Hussein's second son, arrived to meet with us, the conversation grew even more heated, as he immediately set about berating us for the non-appearance of the troops - not to mention the ten thousand pounds in gold - already promised by the Allies.
英国の領事館はいまだ頑なに信じていた。アラブ人というものは協調性を決定的に欠いていて、トルコ軍の突然の襲撃からラベク(注8)を防衛する唯一確実な方法は、イギリス軍の駐留をおいて他ならないのだと。が、カイロにおける我が同僚であり、最も良識派の男である、ロナルド・ストーズ(注9)はこの領事館の見解に異を唱え、キリスト教信者の軍隊がやって来れば、アラブ人たちは、イスラムの地が穢されたと感じるだろうと言い、ハシミテ(注10)主義支持派地域の部族は、(イギリスへの反感からアラブ・ハシミテ主義を)支持すること自体を放棄してしまうであろうと考えていた。フセイン(注11)の第2王子である、エミル・シェリフ(注12)アブドゥラ(注13)が到着し、会談に加わってからは、議論は一層白熱し、いまだに軍隊が到着していないことを理由に、アブドゥラはいきなり我々を大声で叱責した − 連合国から既に支払いを約束されていたのだが − 1万ポンド分の金貨(注:ソブリン。現在は使用されていないイギリスの金貨)の援助のことなど、おくびにも出さずに。

I sat through all of this as the junior officer there, pencil-pushing and listening. Occasionally, I let myself focus for a few seconds on the noise of the street below the open window, the indigenous East that I had sought out when I boarded my first ship for Syria, and which seemed very far away from our great cool rooms.

It became clear that what we were talking of here was not the technicalities of combat so much as plans and politics, the fields on which Abdullah was most enthusiastic. He wanted to know where the Turkish units are at present, and I rose to the occasion by pinpointing all of their locations to within a mile. It was not difficult, as I have them all locked away in my head, along with the size and strength of each battalion, and its proximity to the Arabs. A pleased look came over Storrs' face that said, 'This is why he's one of us', which did not escape my attention, nor, apparently, that of Abdullah. At any rate, he became much more inclined to consider my suggestions. These included a trip to the Hejaz to perform a reconnaissance for myself.
我々がここで話していることが、戦闘についての専門的な話題ではなく、アブドゥラが最も執心する分野である、立案や政治の話であることが次第に明らかになってきた。アブドゥラはトルコ軍の現在の位置を知りたがっていた。そして私は、1マイル以内にいるトルコ軍の正確な位置を、あえて特定することによって、この局面を乗り切った(rise to the occasion=予想外の難局に対処する)。それは難しいことではなかった。というのも、私はその正確な位置というものを頭の中に叩き込んでいたからだ。それぞれの軍隊の規模と兵力、そして、それらがアラブ陣営にどれだけ接近しているかに従って……。ストーズの顔はたちまち喜びの表情に溢れた。まるでこう言いたげに。「なぜロレンスが我々の一員であるか分かっていただけましたかな」と。私はそれを見逃さなかったが、アブドゥラの注目ほうも明らかに喚起したようだった。いずれにしても、アブドゥラは私の提案を、以前とは比べ物にならないくらい重要視するようになった。そして、その提案の中には私自らが偵察に赴くという、ヘジャズ(注15)旅行も含まれていた。


I returned to my hotel room early on the 17th with the intention of getting a good night's sleep before sailing for Rabegh in the morning. We were inclined to sojourn around the bazaars in the evenings - as was the usual practice in the Arab climate, shops and street peddlers began business early, and ended in the early hours of the afternoon before the most intense heat set in, to commence again as the streets began to cool towards nightfall. Today, the flapping cloths and rugs and prattle seemed a sham to me, and the only reality lay beyond the walls of Jeddah where Abdullah's brothers waited for me. I had a really good bath, and unwound with copies of the last fortnight's intelligence reports and maps of the country North of Rabegh, all of the conspiracies, covenants and grand designs that I had spent the last two years surrounded by and hungering after coming alive under my hands.
翌17日は早々にホテルの自室へと引き揚げた。翌朝のラベクへの航海に備え、一晩しっかり睡眠を取っておきたかった(have a good night's sleep=ひと晩ゆっくり寝る)からだ。夕暮れが近づくと私とストーズはマーケット周辺をぶらつく(sojourn=いつもと違う場所で短期間過ごすこと)ことにした − アラブ地方では日常的な習慣として、店や露店商は朝早くから商売を始め、熱さがピークに達する(set in=悪天候・冬などが始まる)前、午後も早い時間のうちに、一旦商売をたたみ、やがて日も暮れ、往来が涼しくなり始めた頃、再び商いを始めるのだ。が、今日の私にとっては、いつものはためく布や絨毯や喧騒の類は、どこか虚構めいたもののように感じられた。私にとって唯一現実と思える世界は、アブドゥラの兄弟(注:ファイサルとアリ)が待つジッダの壁の向こうにこそ存在していたからだ。実に快適な入浴を済ませると、この2週間における情報局からの報告と、この2年という年月を過ごした北部ラベク地方の地図の写し −あらゆる陰謀や盟約や遠大な計画がうずまく中、自らの手で計画実行したくてたまらなかった2年間だったが(hunger after=渇望する)− を手に私はのんびりとくつろいだ(unwind=緊張が解ける)。

Storrs came by a little before 10.30, and we discussed my journey, and the need for the Arabs to be seen fighting their own wars independently of the British forces. He looked over the maps, by then covered with my ink and pencil route markings, and was greatly amused by the extent to which I was already familiarizing myself with the Hejaz, inquiring, "Are you planning to become Commander-in-Chief of all Arabia, or just one small part of it?"
あと少しで10時半になろうかという時に、ストーズが立ち寄り(come by=立ち寄る)、これからの私の旅程について、そしてアラブ軍が英国軍に頼ることなく自らの戦争を戦う姿を世間に喧伝する必要性について、大いに語り合った。ストーズはザッと地図を −その時までには私がインクや鉛筆で道を記した書き込みで一杯になっていたが− 見渡すと、私のヘジャズに対する精通振りが、ことのほか彼の歓心を買ったらしく、こう尋ねてきた。
「お前はアラブの総司令官にでもなるつもりかい? それとも、グッとこじんまりした領土(=ラベク)のほうがいいか?」と。

"Tomorrow, Rabegh - next week, Mecca, and then, the world," I replied, and laughed.
「明日はラベク − その次の週はメッカ − そして、その次は世界と行こうかな……」

He joined in, then paused, and said, "I believe that you could do it, too, if anyone could. You've got just the right degrees of arrogance, clean-living, and pure bloody mindedness that they love over here." He raised an imaginary glass. "To little Lawrence - conqueror of the Arabs from here to Jerusalem."
「小さなロレンスに − この地に始まりエルサレムまでに至る全アラブの征服者に」

"I'd drink to that. If I drank. And we're all arrogant in our own way. Adam and Eve were arrogant," I added, "they thought that they could live outside God's rules."

"And since when did you live inside anyone's rules?"
「そいつはいつのことだ? 他人が決めたルールの中でお前さんが生きてきたっていうのは」

We grinned at each other, because it was a compliment.

"Cairo tried to get rid of me once before," I said. "Perhaps they're hoping that someone might shoot me and save them the trouble."

Storrs gave a snort. "You're here because I asked for you. And you're going to Rabegh because Abdullah likes you, and because you spend so much time with your ear to the ground and your nose buried in letters to London that you've got more opinions than you know what to do with. The Arabs might just reach into them and pull out a few plums."
  「お前は俺が頼んだからここにいるんだよ。お前さんがラベクに行くのも、アブドゥラがお前のことを気に入ったからだし、世情に気を配り(have/keep an one's ear to the ground=世の中の動きに注意する)、ロンドンへせっせと手紙を書き送るような生活を何年も続けた結果、お前は自分が知る以上に、どう対処すべきか分からないにしても(注:それが有益であるとも実現可能であるとも限らないから)、あらゆる世論に通じているからこそだろう。アラブ人たちはお前さんが博覧強記なご意見番であることに気づいたのかもしれんし、何か貴重なネタ(plum=すばらしいもの。ここではアラブ叛乱が勝利するための秘策)をつかみ取ったのかもしれんよ」

"That's rot, and as for Sherif Abdullah, I wish the feeling were mutual."

We argued the point good-naturedly for hours, so that by the time he left, I was only able to catch a short doze before morning.


TE Lawrence's journal

Wadi Fura, 21 October 1916:

Less than five hours outside Rabegh and already so well into blank, shifting desert terrain that in spite of my walking around Aleppo a few years ago, I should know little more than East from West but for Tafas. My guide and his son do not recognize much of written English, and so I spent a time when we stopped to rest taking fresh paper and spelling out 'Lawrence', 'Tafas', 'Abdullah', to their great interest; 'Ali', 'Feisal', and 'al Hamra', our destination, repeating the names aloud each time. When I printed 'Damascus' - I think that I might have done it just to observe their reactions - they grew very sober.
ラベクを出発してまだ5時間も経っていないというのに、もはや景色は何ひとつ無い砂漠地帯へと一変してしまった。私がアレッポ(注18)周辺を歩き回ったのはほんの数年前だというのに、今やタファス(注19)無しでは、西も東もサッパリ分からなかった。ガイドのタファスとその息子は英語の読み書きに疎かったので、休息のために立ち止まるたびに、まっさらの紙きれを取り出しては、「ロレンス」や「タファス」や「アブドゥラ」などを書き示して、時間をつぶした。それはすこぶる彼らの興味をそそった。「アリ(注20)」、「ファイサル」、そして我々の目的地である「アル・ハムラ」などと、その度ごとに大声で名前を繰り返し暗唱した。私が「ダマスカス(注21)」と書き記した(print=活字体できちんと書く)時 − 単に彼らの反応を観察したかったためにそうしたのだが − タファス親子は急に真顔になった。

"You do not watch the Turks fleeing from Damascus in your dreams at night, Tafas?" I asked.
「なあ、タファス、君は夜になると夢見たりはしないのかい? トルコ軍がダマスカスから逃げ去っていく光景を……」

He was quiet for a few moments. Then he replied, "When I dream, I see the men falling before the Turkish guns at Medina, and Fakhri Pasha dancing on the Prophet's tomb."

"Medina is not Damascus. He'll dance to another sound there, the sound of the Hashemite army coming through the gates."

"You talk like a great warrior, Sayyid," put in young Abdullah.

Tafas grunted. "The English man's words are brave, but his stomach is as tender as his skin. Men cannot fight carried by words alone."

"They'll have more than words. There will be guns - and a thousand of the best camels." I leaned forward, looking into the little fire that we were nursing; Robert Louis Stevenson's phantom armies marching therein with Arab skirts. An affirmation not to my companions of the moment, but to myself.
「確かに君たちアラブ人は口先以上のものを持っているだろうよ。君らには銃がある − そして千頭近い極上のラクダも持っているしな」
私は身を乗り出した。絶やさぬよう大事にしている小さな灯火を見つめながら。ロバート・ルイス・スティーブンソン(注:『ジキルとハイド』の著者。1850-1894)の亡霊(注:「A Child's Garden of Verses(1885『子どもの詩の園』)」という詩集の中の「Armies in the Fire」という詩に登場する兵士の亡霊のこと)のごときアラブの軍隊はアラブ風衣装を身に纏い、まさに迫らんとしていた(therein=文語:その点に)(アラブ軍が勝利するという夢)。私は自分の相棒たち(タファスと息子)に向けて誓ったのではなく、むしろ私自身へ向けて誓ったのだった。


The camel that Emir Sherif Ali, Hussein's eldest son, had provided me with at Rabegh was so sure-footed that riding her gave a meaning to the expression 'ship of the desert', for we sailed along with just the occasional roll that might have been a wave as easily as a hole or hillock. I was bundled up in a cloak and headcloth to conceal my uniform on the road, and my view was from a miniature tent, over sand that shimmered gently in the heat and made me blink and blink again to avoid being mesmerized. The camels' lazy rock was very conducive to daydreaming. After a time, I began to fancy I saw the dark spots of tents in the distance, and the shapes of what might have been men and beasts.

"Abdullah," I said. He was at my side, whilst Tafas rode a little way ahead. "I can see a camp or a watering hole. Are they loyal to the sherifs here?"

He laughed. "Only to the death. Those are Emir Feisal's men. We are in the Wadi Safra."

I laughed too, suddenly full of relief. We had arrived with our skulls intact, and as we descended into the settlement of al Hamra, and I began to breathe in massed men living shoulder to shoulder and their still-wet mounts, I felt truly alive for the first time in months.

We were received, myself somewhat hesitantly, by Sherif Nasir, Feisal's second in command, whose proud bearing and bright, fearless eyes I thought boded well. He was opposed to a British presence among the Arab forces, and told me so, but I replied congenially, saying that I valued his honesty, and would make every effort to show the same to him. Empty words, when we had already manipulated the Arabs, filling them with false hopes for our own gains and stalls. But diplomatic and necessary at this moment in time. Nasir inclined his head with an equally hollow smile that did not reach his eyes. We made, in a way, an agreement in those few silent seconds.
私自身はどこか気乗りがしなかったが、ファイサルの副官、シェリフ・ナジール(注25)によって、我々は迎え入れられた。ナジールの誇らしげな態度と、輝きに満ちた恐れを知らぬ眼差は、思うに幸先の良い兆候だったのだろう(注:上司のファイサルもまた同様の男だったことが分かるから)。ナジールはアラブ軍の中でイギリス人がのさばることには反対であり、私にもその旨を告げたが、私は腹蔵無く答えた。私としてはナジールの裏表の無い態度を高く評価するし、自分も同様に接するよう最大限の努力を払うつもりだと話すことによって。空虚な言葉は、我々がアラブを散々振り回してきた今となっては、(イギリスがアラブに武力援助することは)結局は我々自身の利益のためでったという見せ掛けの希望と(援助が遅れていることに対する)度重なる言い逃れに塗れていたからだ。だが今の(in time=ちょうどよい時に)この瞬間、外交的であることは、まさに必要な方便なのだ。ナジールも私と同じように、目は笑っていないような、虚ろな笑みを浮かべながら、会釈をした。ある種の方法で我々は、ほんの数秒間のうちに、暗黙の了解を交わしたのだった。

"You must understand," he said, as he escorted me through a labyrinth of little leafy groves, "that the Bedouin are not British soldiers, nor even the bodyguard that ride with the sherifs. They will not respond to commands for the regimented charges that you live out in your mind. Their strength lays not in order, but in disorder, in the oneness with their desert home and the knowledge of it that will bring them victory."
ベドウィン(注26)はイギリスの兵士でもなければ、シェリフに付き従うボディーガードですらないということを。彼らはあなた方が目論んでいるような(live out=心に抱いている)管理・統制された攻撃命令の類には従わないのだ。彼らの強さは秩序にあるのではなく、無秩序にこそ、砂漠に生きる民であるということにこそある。そして、砂漠に生きることの意味を熟知していることが、彼らを勝利に導くのだ」

I felt suddenly uneasy. Nasir smiled thinly, and said, "You are surprised that I know your dreams, Sayyid? I know the British. You try to build an England wherever you go. You march the men in uniform and raise your flag with the hope that they will follow it with the passion that they follow their own. And when they do not, you call them the Oriental and the uncivilized and the heathen."
「驚いたようだな、ロレンス殿。貴殿が何を夢見ているのか、私なんぞに見透かされたと? が、私はイギリス人というものがどんな人種であるかを熟知している。あなた方は行く先々にイギリスを築こうとする。あなた方はそこの男たちに制服を着せ、戦争へと駆り立て、自らの旗を立てる。連中が自らの旗に従うのと同じ情熱で、イギリスの旗にも従うだろうという能天気な期待のもとに……。そして彼らが従わないと、あなた方は連中を東洋人と呼び、野蛮人や異教徒呼ばわりするのだ」

"Believe me when I say that raising the British flag was very far from my thoughts when I landed in the Hejaz."

"The Englishman," he said philosophically, "imagines that God is an Englishman also."

I found Feisal billeted in one of the village houses. He was in a rear room with latticed windows, shaded from the drying effects of the mid-afternoon sun, quietly drinking coffee with a small company that I would later be formally introduced to as Sherif Sharraf and Sherif Ali ibn el Hussein of the Harith. Even without these pleasantries, and stripped of their wealthy garb, I think I should have recognized them for the lords they were. Attractiveness was far from reserved for the sherifs of Mecca, but it was refined, polished and cultivated by their noble upbringing. In manhood, they were fine; in power, irresistible.

Nasir exchanged a few words with the group, so low and quick that I did not catch them all. Feisal seemed to be considering their implications for a few moments, then he turned to me and asked me to be seated. I took a place on the carpet opposite him, from where I could best study the man whom I had traveled this far to seek out, and of whom I had heard so many talk about that I sometimes sat at my desk, reading reports in which they wrote of him, and feeling that we were already comrades. He was finely built and willowy, but in a way that suggested elegance rather than weakness. His features were unusual, quite asymmetrical if inspected closely, but still oddly attractive, and he had the most beautiful, expressive eyes that I had ever seen.

All in all, I decided that Emir Feisal was a very handsome man.

I presented him with my letter of introduction from Abdullah his brother, which he read, and then passed to Ali whilst he fell to examining me with those beguiling eyes. I had not removed my headcloth, as the sporting of one was the usual practice for officers in the Arab campaign, and, observing this, he said in a full-throated, pleasant voice, "You come to us dressed in the kofia... I wonder if you understand the blood and bones as well as you wear the skin?"
私はファイサルの兄であるアブドゥラから授かった紹介状を差し出した。目を通したファイサルは、次にアリに手渡す一方で、その魅力的な目つきで、験すように私を検分し始めた(fall to〜=〜し始める)。私はベールを脱がなかった。わざとベールを誇示するのは(sport=見せびらかす)、アラブ作戦に携わる士官なら当然の習慣だったからだが、ひとしきり観察すると、喉の奥から響くような(低い)、快活な声でこう言った。

Praise and flattery was seldom anything but the best foot to start out on, and so I answered, "What I do understand is that it is your army here in Wadi Safra that has halted the Turks' progress and kept them shivering in the North."

"Perhaps, but do you think that we do not shiver in return? When we engage them, it is like the camel when she walks into the sandstorm and is driven two paces back for every one she makes forward. We fight and retreat, fight and then retreat again, and every battle only leaves us closer to Mecca, where I still believe we are destined to make another stand before this is over."
「恐らくは。だが、逆に我々が恐れ慄かないとでも思っているのか? 連中と戦うのは、まるで砂嵐の中を歩くラクダのようなものだ。一歩前進する度に、2歩後退させられる。戦っては撤退し、それでも挑んでは、また撤退させられる。そうやって一戦ごとにメッカとの距離は狭まるばかりなのだ。メッカの地ではきっと、我々は最後まで抵抗を試みるだろう。この戦いが果てるまで……」

"When you have been driving a camel without making any progress, it may be time to turn her head in another direction."

Feisal's face glowed as one who argues well and relishes it. "You are proposing an onslaught. As long as the greatest threats we can offer are the few guns of the Egyptian artillery, I cannot take a risk of that nature again."

"And you would not be respected if you did. Sherif Nasir told me that the Bedouin are not a regular army and can't be treated as one. So we will let them fight in the way that they know best. Keep them strong and ready to move quickly, and I promise that you will be able to gain the advantage."

"You make promises readily."

I seized the opportunity whilst it remained. "Let me go to your men and talk with them, and we can keep that promise."

Feisal exchanged glances with both Ali and Sharraf. Then he smiled, and threw up his hands, and said, "Enough. You have been traveling. You must have food and rest tonight, and tomorrow I will show you our men and weapons, and tell you tales of our woes. And, later, you will tell us of days still to come, when they will sing songs of how the Arabs emerged from the hills like rabbits and dug away the ground beneath a mighty Turkish army." His phrasing was ironic, but not bitter, and I returned his smile.
アリとシャラーフ双方にファイサルは目配せした。やがてファイサルは微笑むと、参ったと言わんばかりに両手を上げて(throw up one's hands=お手上げとあきらめる)言った。
「これは1本取られたな。さぞ長旅だったろう。今夜はたらふく食べてゆっくり休むがいい。明日になれば我々の軍隊や武器を見せてやろう。そして我々が被った災難についても語って聞かせよう。しかる後でもお前が語れるというのであらば、聞かせてほしいものだな。アラブ軍がウサギの如く丘から現れては、手強いトルコ軍の足元に穴を掘り(away=消失・除去。dig away=穴を掘ってやっつける)、高らかに(勝利の歌を)歌う日が来るなどという夢物語を……」

The sherifs' servants pitched me a tent, and brought me jugs of fresh water, and coffee, and a tray of rice, cracked wheat and vegetables, and Arab bread. I was the first European that they had had a chance to observe at close range, and they watched, wide-eyed, while I undressed as far as the waist and washed, marveling at my fair skin. Then one by one they melted away into the evening to spread the word to their friends of the pale ghost they had waited upon, while I sat, making notes for my report and doing great justice to my first proper meal since leaving Rabegh.
シェリフの従者たちが私にテントを設営してくれた。汲みたての水を満たした水差しとコーヒー、そしてご飯や挽き割り小麦や野菜の載ったお盆に、アラブ風のパンも持ってきてくれた。彼らからしてみると私は、間近で観察することができる初めての西欧人であったせいか、彼らは目を見開いて私をじっと観察していた。衣服を腰まで脱いで体を洗っている間中、私の白い肌(fair=肌が白く髪が金髪で目の青い)に驚きながら。が、やがて彼らの姿は、夕暮れの中に溶け込むかのように、一人また一人と消えていった。給仕してやった青白い顔の幽霊のことを、自分の知り合いに言いふらして回っているだろう。私はといえば、腰を落ち着けて、報告のためにメモを書き留め、ラベクを発って以来初めてありつけたまともな食事を満喫した(do justice to+人+〜=戯言:腹いっぱい食べる)。


TE Lawrence's journal
al Hamra, 24 October 1916:

Whilst I was exploring the plot around my tent shortly after sun-up this morning, I had a visit from Sherif Ali, the wiry, likable man of about my own age, who had much the same zest about him as I had noticed in Nasir. He came with a message from Feisal, saying that the Emir and a few of his lieutenants were preparing for a short ride about the hills surrounding the camp; they had been in retreat here less than a week before my arrival, and wished to inspect their new boundaries more thoroughly to assess routes of both attack and flight should the enemy make a sudden appearance. If I would like a tour of Wadi Safra's countryside, a good camel was waiting for me. 9.30 a.m., back on with the headcloth and riding along the perimeter of these curious red moon-mountains at the side of Feisal our paladin ally.

While our camels walked, he told me of the inconstancy of the desert people that make up a good proportion of his present forces. The most important thing to a tribe is the safety of the tribe, and they are inclined to support whichever side shows the greatest chance of triumph, be it Turk or Arab. Though many of them are pro-Hashemite, their sheikhs will remain very chary about declaring open allegiance until they can be assured that they are not fighting for a hopeless cause. Feisal believes that the Arabs must show successes, and soon, if men are not to begin drifting away.

We negotiated for some time, riding a short way ahead of the others, Feisal mostly asking questions about what arms the British intend to ship, and myself fielding them deftly and taking mental notes of the army's most prominent requirements. Between these times, we discussed ourselves a little, each of us being one of those cosmopolitan sorts who have a maddening interest in getting inside the heads of other cultures. As we talked, I thought him more and more one of the most delightful men that I have ever met. He would comment on any subject I cared to raise, and then begin one of his own with equal enthusiasm. Just as pleasing were the moments during our ride when Ali or one of the others would draw alongside us to point out an interesting feature of the landscape, or a vantage point that might be of use, and we looked on, each knowing at once the potential that the other was seeing. He also has a very pleasant way of looking at me from beneath his soft dark lashes, when I have made a comment to his satisfaction, that brings me both a warmth inside and a peculiar shyness.
他の者たちに僅かに先んじると我々は、しばしの間議論した。イギリス軍が海路から送ろうとしているのはどんな武器なのかうんぬんと、もっぱらファイサルばかりが質問していたのだが、私自身はそれらを巧妙にかわしながら、ファイサル軍が最も必要としているものは何かを査定した。こんな風に時間を過ごす合間に、我々は自分たち自身のことについて少し語り合った。2人とも、異文化の中に首を突っ込むことには異常なほどの関心を示す、いわゆる国際通気取りの輩ように。話し込むうちに、私はますます確信を深めた。ファイサルという人物は、今まで自分が出会ったうちで、最も快活な男の1人であろうと。私が提起したいと思うどんな話題についても、ファイサルは自分なりの論評を加え、次には、同じくらいの熱意を込めて、自分自身の話題を提起した。そしてラクダに乗って旅をするのは同じくらい楽しかった。アリや他の誰かが、我々の側にやってきては、興味深い特徴のある景観や、将来役に立ちそうな地形上の要衝を教えてくれた。そして我々も観察した。相手がその土地の使途をどう目論んでいるか瞬時に判断しながら。そして同時にファイサルは、その柔らかい漆黒の睫毛の隙間から、とても楽しげに私のことを見つめていた。そんな時、私はファイサルが満足するまで(to a person's satisfaction=人が納得するように)とことん論じたが、そうすることによって、互いの心の中に暖かいものが広がり、同時に(ファイサルの厚遇と高貴な風貌に対して)得も言われぬ何かドギマギしたものを感じた。

In another two days, I shall be leaving for Jeddah again, and from there, I suppose, back to Cairo. I feel a sudden, childish resistance towards that idea.


In sharp contrast to the lukewarm reception I had arrived to, my departure from al Hamra was a friendly affair, and when I rode back overland, this time to the port of Yenbo, it was with a protective convoy of Feisal's warriors. I felt very noble in their midst, and was on such a high from our great discovery. Where Abdullah the statesman was the prose of the Arab revolt, Feisal was the poetry, the song that men would rise up in their numbers to echo. Consequently, my arrival at Yenbo and boarding of a British ship where I was instantly transformed into a rather untidy little pseudo-captain, brought me down to earth with a violent jolt. After stopping to be debriefed at the British Residency in Khartoum, I was back at a desk in Cairo by mid-November, now officially attached to the Arab Bureau, but suspecting morosely that nothing had really changed. We were an interesting crowd, and I had my daily reports and, superb! an almost brand new, ingeniously procured wireless. It seemed a poor substitute now, however, to merely listen to what was going on in the Hejaz, though I hung on every word and scrabbled for snippets of news like a starving man.
到着時にお義理で開かれた歓迎会とは打って変わって、私がアル・ハムラを出発する時のもてなしはとても友好的なものだった。陸路を使って戻る際は −今度はイェンボー港に向かっての旅だったが− ファイサルの兵士による護衛隊付きであった。連中の真っ只中で私は、とても晴れ晴れした気分だった、我々の偉大な発見(=ファイサル軍にトルコ軍を打ち負かす力がありファイサルがアラブ叛乱の指導者に相応しいことが分かったこと)のおかげで、こんな最高の気分が味わえたのだ。政治家であるアブドゥラが、アラブの反乱のいわゆる散文的存在だとしたら、ファイサルは詩であり、男たちを奮い立たせ大合唱させる歌のような存在であった。おかげで、イェンボーへ到着し、イギリス船に乗り込むと私は、たちまちの内に、うだつの上がらない、しょぼくれた似非艦長に逆戻りし、激しいショックと共に、現実の世界に引き戻されてしまった(bring a person down to earth=を夢想から現実の世界に引き戻す)。前任者からの報告を受けるために一度ハルツーム(注31)の英国人領事館に立ち寄ると私は、11月の半ばまでには再びカイロの事務所へと舞い戻っていた。今や、正式にアラブ局所属ということになったのだが(注:その前は地図課に属していた)、実際には何一つ変わっていないのではないかという忌々しい疑いを抱きながらも。だが、我々は実に興味深い集団(注:当時のアラブ局はジョージ・ロイド、フィリップ・グレイブスなど多士済済な人材が揃っていたため)であり、私には日々の報告業務があり、素晴らしい!ことに、巧妙な方法で調達したほとんど新品同様の無線機もあった。ヘジャズで何が起ころうとしているのかを、単に耳にすることしかできない私は、今のところはお粗末な代用品にしか思えないが、どんな言葉にもしがみつき、飢えた男のように片っ端からニュースを漁った(scrabble for=かき回して捜す)。

Less than a week after my return, to our surprise, letters from Feisal came, to Sir Archibald Murray, General of the intelligence section in Egypt, General Clayton, chief of the Arab Bureau, and myself. My note was very charming. There was an official expression of satisfaction with my visit and proposals in all three letters, but below this, in mine, a few personal paragraphs in which Feisal spoke of his enjoyment of my company, and ended with half a dozen salaams and the hope that we might meet again before many more months passed.

In the event, I returned to him far sooner than either of us had expected, so quickly, in fact, that it made my head spin. GHQ had decided that there was no reason to waste valuable time introducing a strange field liaison officer to Feisal when there was already one available who knew the Arabs, and their ways, and had endeared himself once already to the Sherif on his home turf. I was not entirely sure whether to take my 'availability' as a compliment or not - I had fancied that my work there in Cairo under Clayton was invaluable - but after some thought, I decided that the opportunity was more important than the reason behind it, and went off again to Feisal's new base at Yenbo with a light heart.
結局、私はファイサルの元へと舞い戻った。お互いが予想したより遥かに早く。実際、あまりに急だったので、私は目が回りそうだった。わざわざ面識の無い現場連絡士官をファイサルに紹介して、貴重な時間を浪費する理由もなかろうとGHQも判断したのだ。アラブ人やアラブの流儀を熟知していて、シェリフ自らの陣地に招かれ、大いに気に入られた(endear oneself to=…に愛される)実績が少なくとも1回はある、おあつらえ向きな人物が既に約1名、存在するというのにだ。「おあつらえ向きな人物」であることを光栄なことと受け取っていいものかどうか、正直私には割り切れないものがあった……カイロのクレイトンの下で働く私も、余人をもって代えがたいと自負するからだ(invaluable=非常に貴重な)(fancy that=何となく思う?)……だが、あれこれ考えた挙句、私は腹をくくった。この機会に乗じることは、その背後に隠された思惑にも増して重要なことだからだ。かくして私はまたしても、イェンボーにあるファイサルの新しい本拠地に向けて、いそいそと旅立つのだった。


TE Lawrence's journal
Wadi Yenbo, 2 December 1916:

A person who has only managed thirty minutes of sleep in the last twenty-four hours - and those very damp and chill - can excuse himself for not being fully coherent in his account of things, but I shall do my best to sketch out the action that we have had here.

Five miles off the Hejaz coast, the ship on which I had passage received a half-garbled telegraph from Yenbo, and I was summoned hastily to the wireless room. My traveling companion, Bimbashi Henry Garland of the Egyptian army - a bimbashi being equivalent to a major - leapt up and followed me, fearing bad news about the port. He was returning to his own posting there, tutoring the Arabs in guerrilla tactics, or, as he puts it, "wanton destruction." His Yenbo was safe, at least for the time, but the telegraph was still not good. There had been skirmishes in the wadis, and now rumors were flying back thick and fast. Some said that Feisal's entire army had been massacred by the Turks, or that all of Sherif Hussein's sons had been taken, and were even now prisoners in Medina; others that Fakhri's forces were mere hours away from a defenseless Yenbo and Rabegh. Garland made use of his impressive collection of profanities in English, French and Arabic. I suspected that there might be some gross hyperbole going on, but admitted that even the panic that the Arab peasants so loved to stir themselves into rarely arose for no good reason. When the ship docked, Garland's aide-de-camp came with the news that sherifiate troops had begun riding into the Wadi Yenbo a little over an hour ago, so we commandeered two of the garrison's finest racing camels, and set out to meet them.
ヘジャズ海岸沖、5マイルの海域を航行中、イェンボーから雑音混じりの電信が届いた。おかげで私は慌てて無線室へと呼び出された。旅の我が相棒である、エジプト軍のビンバシ・ヘンリー・ガーランド(注36)も −ビンバシというのは少佐に相当するが− 弾かれたように立ち上がると、イェンボー港に関する悪い知らせかと案じ、私の後に続いた。本来の職務に復帰するためイェンボーに戻るところだったガーランドは、アラブ人ゲリラ部隊に兵法、というよりもガーランドの言うところの(put〜as=みなす)「無手勝流攻撃」とやらを教えていた。ガーランド曰く、イェンボーは安全な町であった。少なくとも当面の間は。それでも電信が伝える限りでは、依然として楽観できそうになかった。ワディでは小競り合いが頻発し、今や噂で持ちきりだった(thick and fast=しきりに)。ファイサルの全軍がトルコ軍に皆殺しにされたと言う者もいれば、シェリフ・フセインの息子たちは全員捕らえられ、メディナでは今でも囚われの身になっているという者もいた。またある者は、ファクリの軍隊は、無防備なイェンボーやラベクまで、あと数時間のところにまで迫っているとなどと噂していた。ガーランドは彼の素晴らしい博学を駆使して、英語、フランス語、アラビア語で悪態をつきまくった。どうも、はなはだしく誇張されているのではないかと思われたが、アラブの田舎者がいくら騒動好きとはいえ、それ相応の理由無しには(パニックなど)めったに起こるものではない、というのもまた事実だった。船が港に停泊すると、ガーランドの副官(aide-de-camp=将官付きの副官)がやって来て、小一時間前にシェリフ軍がワディ・イェンボーへ進軍を開始したとの報をもたらした。我々は駐屯部隊最高の早駆け用ラクダを2頭徴用し、彼らに合流すべく出発した(set out=出発する)。

It was soft underfoot, and the going laborious; Garland's animal hopped about the mud, dainty as a ballerina, whilst mine, made of sterner stuff, merely expressed her distaste with the occasional grumbling bleat. Wadi Yenbo cut into the landscape like a wide, savage scar. Darkness fell, with a fine mist swirling around us that was neither rain nor fog, but the worst aspects of both, and we wandered away from the road so often that my mind began to insist that we were traveling in circles. Sometimes I thought that I saw a silent party of riders following us; sometimes the hills seemed to be alternately approaching and retreating. Our tension transferred itself to our animals, who grew nervous, tossing their heads and grunting at every shadow.
地面は柔らかく歩行は困難を極めた。ガーランドのラクダはぬかるみをあちこち跳ね回り、まるでバレリーナみたいに華奢だったが、私のほうはあまり物怖じしない性質で、たまに不平がましい鳴き声で嫌がってみせるくらいであった。ワディ・イェンボーは広大で、無残な傷跡の如き景観を刻んでいた。宵闇が迫り、細かい(fine rain=小ぬか雨)霧雨が立ち込め、雨とも霧ともつかない、その両方の欠点を被った我々は何度も道を反れては、彷徨い歩いた。私は心密かに泣き言を訴えていた。自分たちは同じところを歩き回っているだけ(go round in circles=堂々巡りをする)ではないのかと。静かな一団が付いて来るのが見えたかと思うと、山影が近づいて来ては遠ざかる、そんな錯覚にも見舞われた。我々の緊張ぶりはラクダにも伝わり、神経質になるあまり、どんな些細な物影にも、頭を反らしては、うなり声を上げる始末だった。

We had been riding for almost three hours without rest when Garland halted his mount, and, removing his headcloth - we had wrapped them around our noses and mouths to make breathing in the heavy dampness of the air a little less uncomfortable - said, "Lawrence, do you hear something?"
丸3時間ぶっ通しで行軍したガーランドはラクダを止め、ベールを外し −我々は鼻と口をベールで包み、湿ってベタベタする空気の中で少しでも快適に息ができるよう努めていたのだが− こう言った。

"Camels," I answered, after a moment. "And horses. About two dozen of them, I'd say."
「それに馬も。およそ2ダースといったところか(I'd say=挿入的に用いて、「言ってみれば、まあ、約」)」

"Hm. Ours or theirs, though?"

"You don't think there are Turks this near to Yenbo already?"

"God knows, but I don't intend to wait and find out with only a pistol to protect my rear. Get off the bloody road!"

We began to turn our animals about, fighting them every step of the way, but before we could make off into the hills, there came the noise of several shots, one after the other. Garland's camel, already skittish, lost her head, and, bucking and bellowing, lunged sideways into mine with all the force of her nine hundred pounds. Both animals went down in a tangle of legs. I curled myself instinctively into a little bundle as I hit the ground to avoid having my head kicked in, all the time hearing riders gathering around us. When I rose, very much winded and bruised, I found myself looking into the slightly dusty face of Sherif Ali of the Harith.
ラクダに回れ右をさせ、何とか一歩ずつ前進したのだが、丘の中に隠れぬうちに(make off=逃げ去る)数発の銃声が続けざまに上がった。すっかり気が高ぶっていたガーランドのラクダは正気を失って暴れ出し、鳴きわめくと、その900ポンドもある体重を掛けて脇にいた私のラクダ目がけて体当たりしてきた。2頭の獣は足がもつれて転倒した。地面に投げ出された私は咄嗟に小さな団子のように体を丸め、蹴られないよう頭を庇った。その間ずっと、騎馬隊が我々の回りに結集する音を聞きながら……。息も絶え絶えに擦り傷だらけの体を起こした私は、ハリス族のシェリフ・アリの、やや埃っぽい顔を呆然と見詰めていた。

"Some day," he said, with a wry smile, "your army will give the same controls to their camels that they do to their motor cars, is that not so?"

I thought that it might be a very good idea at that moment in time, and said so in words that Garland would be better suited to. Ali laughed a little, and explained that in the darkness, some of the Bedouin, our supposed Turks, had spied our khaki uniforms from a distance, and, tense after their recent encounters, mistaken us for the same. Two of these dismounted now, and, with tugging and a few blows, raised my camel to her feet. I knelt to inspect her. At first, I feared she had broken a leg on her fall; closer examination revealed that this was not the case, but she moaned and stumbled and was obviously too lame to be ridden further. I was preparing, with reluctance, to double up with Garland, when I heard a low ripple of conversation pass through Ali's men, and their group parted to make a path through which rode Feisal on his mare.
その時は、それもまんざら悪くないアイデアであるかのように思えたので、それならガーランドのほうが適任だろうと言い添えた。クスッと笑うとアリは解説した。真っ暗な闇の中で、我々がてっきりトルコ軍だと勘違いしてしまったベドウィン人たちは、我々のカーキ色の制服を遠くから偵察していて、最近トルコ軍と遭遇したばかりで気が高ぶっていたこともあって、彼らもまた我々のことをトルコ軍だと勘違いしたのだと。2人の兵士がラクダから降りてきて、手綱を引っ張ると2,3発殴り、私のラクダを立ち上がらせた(rise to one's feet=立ち上がる)。私はひざまずいてラクダを検分した。何より、転んだせいで足を骨折したのではないかと案じたのだ。よくよく調べてみると、折れてはいないことが判明した。とはいえ私のラクダはうめき、よろめき、これ以上の乗馬にはとても耐えられそうに無かった。嫌々ながら私は、ガーランドと相乗りする準備を始めた。ちょうどその時、アリの手下たちの間でヒソヒソ囁く音がさざめき渡ったかと思うと、男たちの一団がサッと二手に分かれ、雌馬に乗ったファイサルの前に道が開かれた。

My surprise must have shown on my face, for he smiled wearily as he reached my side, and said, "You look at me as though I were risen from the dead."

"Forgive me. We heard news from the North; it wasn't good."

"In times of war, Lawrence Bey, do not listen too closely to everything that you hear. Come." He leaned from his saddle and held out a pale-brown hand, as smooth as my own, and I took it and mounted behind him, turning my face once again to the eerie quiet rain as we spurred our animals for camp.

I did not realize until tonight that I have missed Feisal since our first, friendly parting at al Hamra. Around a good fire, picking at the last remains of a roasted calf and bowls of rice and cereal, he told Garland and myself of his men's fearful surprise at the hands of the Turkish forces, who had found an unguarded road into Wadi Safra and driven into the sherifiate lines as they were preparing to move. A frantic battle ensued which ended in the Turks' favor, and left them with a clear road through Wadi Safra and down the coast. He looked disheartened, but his beautiful dignity and inquisitive mind had not deserted him, and he made us tell him all that had happened since he and I last met, and news of Cairo where he had once spent a pleasant time years ago. He personally saw that we received clean, dry clothes. Complete sets of Arab robes were the only option; Garland grumbled half-heartedly about the voluminous skirts and looking like "the vicar's wife in Sunday best" on the battlefield, but I was rather taken with my new profile, the white cloth of which greatly increased my impact among the troops. Feisal arranged quarters for us, Garland with Zeki, commander of the Egyptian artillery and an old friend, and myself in his own tent, for want of a better place.
今宵ようやく私は自覚した。名残惜しいアル・ハムラでの最初の別れ以来、自分がどんなにファイサルを恋しく思っていたのかを。気持ち良い炎の傍らで、最後の子牛肉のローストの一切れやライスやシリアルをつついていた(pick at=少しずつ食べる)ファイサルは、ガーランドと私に、トルコ軍のおかげで自分の部下たちが被った、驚愕の出来事について語ってくれた。トルコ軍はワディ・サフラへと抜ける防御が手薄なルートを発見し、移動の準備を整えながら、シェリフ軍戦線へと突進した。その結果、凄まじい戦いが繰り広げられ、結果トルコ軍の優勢に終わった(in a person's favor=人に有利に)。後にはワディ・サフラを通り海岸に抜ける遮るもののない広々とした道だけがただ残された。ファイサルは気落ちしているように見えたが、その麗しい気品と探究心が失われたわけではなく、ファイサルと最後に会って以来何が起こったかを、そして、数年前かつてファイサルが楽しい時間を過ごしたa href="#Cairo">カイロ(注35)に関する近況などを、洗いざらい話すようにとせがまれた。ファイサル自らが眺めている前で、我々は清潔で乾いた衣服を受け取った。アラブ風衣装の完全な一揃いはその時望みうる唯一の選択肢だった。ガーランドはブカブカのスカートみたいな服だとか、これじゃ戦場でよそ行きの服を着た(Sunday best=晴れ着)教区牧師の妻みたいに見えるなどと、あまり気乗りがしない様子で、ブツブツ文句を垂れていた。が、どちらかというと私はこの新しい出で立ちがすっかり気に入ってしまい(be taken with/by=うっとりさせられる)、真っ白な衣装は部隊における私の存在感を増すのに著しく役に立った。我々のためにファイサルは宿舎を用意してくれた。ガーランドをエジプト人砲兵隊の隊長であり旧友でもあるゼキ(注35)と相部屋に、そして私自身をファイサル自らのテントへと割り当てた。他にこれといってましな場所も無かったからだ(for want of…=…の不足のため)。

He is sleeping now, a short distance away from me. I am tired, but I think that I passed the point of being able to actually sleep some hours ago. So I write to pass the time.

What I have always disliked most about army life is not the filth, or the never ending degradation of being transformed from a human being into one of many faceless cattle, but the necessity of communal living. Anyone who has shared my personal space has always seemed too close, and the knowledge that we may have glanced across in the night and witnessed each other at our most vulnerable and undignified has been to me loathsome. Just now, though, I feel extraordinarily happy and peaceful, and really don't know any more. This evening, I thought to myself that I could remain constantly at Feisal's side and never tire of watching him, his warmth, and his gentle determination; everything quiet and strong and untainted that in its mirror in myself is a vulgarity.


When we had been a day encamped in Wadi Yenbo, we were joined unexpectedly by Emir Sherif Zeid, Feisal's young half-brother, who had retreated with his men when word reached him of the Turks' approach. Feisal was all smiles, for Zeid, though eleven years his junior, was his favorite brother. He gathered the sherifs and sheikhs of both their armies, and, flanked by Garland and myself, held a council of war in the shelter of one of his personal tents. The wild tribal chiefs, their courage restored by their numbers, were for turning and riding on the Turks, but Feisal calmed them, saying, "We must be a wall around Yenbo. If Yenbo falls, Rabegh will follow. Then they will land enough supplies for soldiers to fill the streets of Mecca like rats, and I will not stand and witness that because you, Suleiman, and you, Masud, had already led your men to worthless deaths in the desert."
ワディ・イェンボーで日がな野営をしていた時、ファイサルの腹違いの弟であるエミール・シェリフ・ザイド(注37)から思いがけない訪問を受けた。トルコ軍進攻の知らせが届いたため部下を連れて撤退してきたのだ。ファイサルはザイドのこととなるといつも嬉しそうで(all smiles=大喜びの表情で)、11も年が離れているというのにファイサルはザイドのことを特別可愛がっていた。ファイサルは自軍のシェリフと族長全員を召集し、ガーランドと私を両側に侍らせ、私設テントのうち避難用に割り当てられたテントの中で作戦会議を開いた。血気盛んな族長たちは、一堂に会したおかげでより(numbers=many)すっかり戦意を回復し、引き返してトルコ軍を攻撃する気であった。だがファイサルは彼らをなだめ、こう言った。
「我々はイェンボーを守る城壁であらねばならない。もしイェンボーが陥落するようなことがあれば、ラベクもそれに習うだろう。さすれば彼らは(内陸にいるトルコ)兵士に必要な物資を港からまんまと陸揚げし、メッカの大通り目がけてネズミが群がるようになだれ込むだろう。私は決して傍観しているにはいかない(stand and witness=見物する)。なぜならスレーマン(注38)お前と、マスド(注39)の貴様たちは既に、自らの部下を砂漠で犬死させたのだからな」

Zeid spoke. "And we can hold Yenbo with our armies, and with the guns of the British Navy behind us." He was a quiet, bright-eyed boy, who made me think very much of Feisal as he must have been at the same age.

The chief of the Hawazim bristled. His tribe had only joined the Hashemites after delicate negotiations, wary of Allied involvement, and the actual arrival of British officers had rendered their allegiance shaky. Like many of the other local tribes, they also lived in a perpetual state of fear of Turkish revenge upon their villages whilst their men were in the field, and had come near to desertion during warfare. "Are the Arabs now too weak to stand without a British spine?"
ハワズィム族(注40)の長(=マスド)はにわかに気色ばんだ。彼の部族は微妙な交渉の末に、ハシミテ派に加わったばかりであり、同盟関係を結ぶことに関して慎重であったのだ。おまけに英国軍士官たちが現実に到着したことによって彼らの忠誠心は一層グラついていた(render=S+V+C:〜を〜にする)。他の地方部族の多くがそうであるように、彼らもまた、彼らが戦場に赴いている間、自分たちの村がトルコ軍に報復されるのではないかという恐怖に常にさらされながら暮らしていた。そのため戦闘の真っ最中だろうが何だろうが常に戦線離脱しかねない状態だったのだ(come near doing=もう少しで…するところ)。

Ali, seated at his left, leaned close and murmured pacifyingly.

"You insult your men," I said. Garland, technically my superior, shot me a dire look, but I pretended not to notice, and went on. "But there are others who insult them already, and call them parasitic, pocketing the money of the Sherif of Mecca and filling their stomachs at his son's table, all the while planning the best direction to scurry in when he calls them to fight for his name."

A ripple of unrest traveled through our gathering. Feisal sat quietly, looking from one of us to the other with gleaming, curious eyes.

The old chief lifted his chin, and, with his voice quaking with suppressed anger, but his gaze steely, said, "By God's will, I am of the Hawazim. And I am the son of Abd al Haqq, who slew men by the dozen for lesser words than yours."
年配の部族長(=マスド)はそっくり返ると(lift one's chin=高慢な態度や挑戦的な気持ちを表わすしぐさ)、押し殺した怒りに震える声で、それでいて目には残忍な色を湛えながら、こう言った。
「神の意思により、私はハワズィム族に生まれし者である。さらにアブド・アル・ハク(注41)の息子であり、アブドはお前のように言葉を弄さずとも、多くの(by the dozen=たくさん)者の息の根を止めることができた(slay=殺害する)」

"And yet he fathered a son who only dares to show the same bravery to a single, unarmed man half his years?"

By this time, Zeid and Sharraf were staring at me as if they thought I must be insane. Nasir, the muscles of his strong, angular face tensed, appeared to be preparing to halt a massacre if need be. For a long moment, the thin, early evening air was so hushed that the soft squeals of the camels could be heard from the far side of the camp as they made ready for watering and rest. Then the Hawazim chief gave a sudden hiss, flew from his place like a roused bird, and landed before me, his hand flashing to his curved dagger and bringing it up to my throat so quickly that it was perhaps ten seconds or more before I realized that he had not actually cut into me; rather he was so skillful that, even after the speed of his motions, the weapon was merely being held to my skin so closely that I could feel the coldness of the blade and the slight movement of it that was caused when I breathed or swallowed.
この間ずっと、ザイドとシャラーフは私を睨みつけていた。正気の沙汰を失っているに違いないと言わんばかりに。ナジールはその力強く角張った顔の筋肉を強張らせ、万が一の(if need be=必要があれば)刃傷沙汰に備え身構えているかのようだった(appear=seem)。日暮れ近くの希薄な空気はシーンと静まり返っていた。そのために水と休息にありついたラクダの微かな鳴き声が、キャンプの遠くのほうから長い間聞こえていた。が、突然、ハワズィムの長はシュッと鋭い息を漏らすと、鳥が飛び立つように自分の席から離れ私の正面に座り、手にした弓形の短剣をサッと伸ばして私の喉元に突き付けた。目にも留まらぬほどの素早さだったせいか、実際に切りつけられたわけではなかったと気付くのに10秒やそこらかかった。むしろ彼の技があまりにも鮮やかだったおかげで、ものすごいスピードの動作の後だというのに、私の肌に刃をピッタリと当てただけでも、その刃の冷たさや、私が息をしたり飲み込んだりすることで刃がほんの僅か動くのを感じることができるほどだった。

He spoke, looking into my face, but addressing Feisal. "The English that you have taken to your hearth will kneel before me and beg forgiveness, or you will have a blood feud that will make the revolt seem a brotherly disagreement."

Feisal disappointed him bitterly. He did not rage or beseech, but simply drew himself up and, laying his fingers on the golden-hilted dagger at his own waist, said, "Masud, if you can swear by the Prophet's name that the Hawazim were not but a memory in Wadi Safra before we saw more of the Turks than dust on the horizon, or bring me two men to bear witness to the same, I will take both of the British outside and shoot them myself for your honor. But you cannot. This man loves the sound of his own words" - his eyes flickered to me - "but each time I have heard them, they have been true. I will not kill a man for speaking the truth, but I will kill another for treachery."
が、ファイサルはマスドの期待をいたく裏切った。ファイサルはどなり散らすこともなければ、頭を下げて請うような真似もしなかった。だが、ただ居住まいを正しただけで(draw oneself up=きちんと座りなおす)、腰に挿した短刀の金色の柄に指を掛け、こう告げた。
「マスド、ハワズィム族は、水平線の彼方に塵の数にも勝る程のトルコ軍を目にするまでのワディ・サフラの思い出(=目にしたらあっという間に逃げた者の例え)などでは決してないと(注:副詞のbut=まったく)、お前がモハメッドの名において誓うのであれば、もしくは同じことを証言をする(bear witness to=…の証言をする; …の証人[証拠]となる)者を2名以上連れて来ることができるなら、私は英国人両名(ロレンスとガーランド)を今この場から叩き出し、お前の名誉のためにこの手で成敗するであろう。だが、お前にはできまい。この男(ローレンス)は自らのセリフが奏でる音色に酔い痴れているに過ぎないのだ(=ロレンスが偉そうに得々と真実をしゃべる傲慢な性格であるという意味)」

He was not a savage man, greatly preferring an evening of good conversation to fighting, but he was a proud and determined one, and the Arabs had told me that he never made a threat that he did not mean to carry through to its conclusion. Masud, the Hawazim chief, paled, and his face became set, for he knew that the accusation was right, and the Hashemite sherifs held authority throughout all Arabia. He sheathed his dagger and approached Feisal, then, bowing before him, began to speak very quickly and passionately, calling him Lord and Son of the Prophet, and declaring that before the sun had finished setting, his entire company of men should come to the Sherif one by one to make their salaams and vow allegiance to him.
ファイサルは、野蛮な男ではなく、争いよりはむしろ有意義な会話の夕べのほうを好む男だった。だが、ファイサルは高い自尊心と強い意志の持ち主であり、アラブ人たちが言うには、ファイサルは決して脅したりはせず、無理やり結論に導くタイプでも(注:andやコンマは無いが重文)ないらしい。ハワズィム族の長であるマスドは青ざめ、顔をこわばらせた。というのもマスドは知っていたからだ。ファイサルの非難が的を得ていることを、そしてハシミテ家のシェリフはいまだアラブ全土にその権威をとどろかせているのだと。マスドは短刀を鞘に収め、ファイサルのもとに歩み寄ると御前で一礼をし、激しい勢いでまくし立てた。ファイサルを領主でありマホメットの息子であると呼び、自分たちすべての民はサラームを唱え(make one's salaam=額手の礼をする)忠誠を誓わんと、日が沈むまでに(=>その日のうちに=たちまちのたとえ)、続々とシェリフの元に集うに違いないと宣言した。

Feisal listened to his speech very solemnly, but with sparkling eyes. When Masud was through, he asked the chief to stand, then rose to his own feet and embraced him, and said, "All is as well between us again as it ever was." Then he called for his servants and told them to bring coffee and cigarettes. Garland, mopping away beads of sweat, lightened the atmosphere with news of the batch of aeroplanes and artillery that had landed at Rabegh, and I added on my own initiative vague suggestions of as many sovereigns as each man could carry in his knotted headcloth waiting there to pay the Bedouin. This caused happy uproar, and the remainder of our evening was pleasant.
ファイサルはマスドの主張を極めて厳粛に受け止めていたが、その瞳は輝いていた。マスドは言い終えると(be through…=…を終了する)、ファイサル(注:文法的にはおかしいがこのheはファイサルと解釈しないと文意が通らない)はハワズィム族の長(マスド)に立つよう頼み、自らも立つと長を抱擁し、こう言った。
やがてマスドは自らの従者を呼び、コーヒーとタバコを持って来るよう命じた。ガーランドは玉のような汗を拭うと、飛行機と大砲一式がラベクに上陸したという吉報によってその場の雰囲気を明るくさせた。場をさらに盛り上げようと(on my owen initiative=率先して)私は、ベドウィンたち全員の結んだ頭巾の中に詰め込めるだけの量のソブリン金貨が支払われるのを待ち構えていると仄めかした。これは幸せな騒動を巻き起こし、その後の夕べは楽しいムードの内に終始した。

Whilst we were idling over some of the Arabs' black, bitter coffee that night, Feisal, toying with his cup, asked, "Is the gold that you promised for the Hawazim truly landed in the Hejaz?"

"The Sherif does not need a truthful English soldier to answer that for him," I said with a smile.

He laughed. "I think that you tell lies as easily as truths. But you also know the right moments to tell them. Come - tell me a truth now. How do you find my brother Zeid? He is as yet a boy, but he is courageous, and I think that, God willing, men will flock to him when he is grown."
「君は真実と同じくらい嘘も容易くつけるのだな。しかし同時に君はそれを言うべき絶妙なタイミングも心得ているようだ。さあここに来て、私に本当の真実を語りたまえ。弟のザイドをどう思う?(find=経験などして知る。How do you find…?=〜はどうですか)あいつは今はまだひよっ子だが実に度胸がある。そして思うに神がお許しになるなら(God willing=事情が許せば)、ザイドが成人した暁には民衆は彼の元に集うであろうよ」

"I like him very much, and he reminds me of you."

"And is that good?" he inquired with mock concern.

"Of course," I replied, without intending the words to sound as earnest as they did. And then I was newly glad of the folds of my headcloth, for it hid the sudden warmth in my face a little. How my body was inclined to behave in Feisal's presence was disconcerting, because it came accompanied by feelings that occurred very seldomly in me, and that I had never had much idea of how to manage. I think that I had only ever had such an experience once before, and that was a lifetime ago at Jarablus, when I knelt digging up Hittite relics from Carchemish, my hair bleached almost white by the sun and my entire being drinking in a donkey boy.
自分でも意外なほど、ムキになって私は答えていた。途端に私は、自分を被ってくれているベールの襞に改めて感謝した。突然赤みが差した私の顔を、その襞がそっと隠してくれたからだ。ファイサルの面前で、私の体が勝手に取る行動はいつも私を当惑させた。今までの私にはめったに起こった試しが無く、どう対処したらいいかもサッパリ分からないある種の感情を伴うからだ。かつて一度だけこの手の経験をしたことがあった。それは今の任務に就く前のジャラブラス(注42)で、カルケミッシュ(注44)古跡からヒッタイト遺跡を発掘すべくひざまずいていた最中に、髪の毛が真っ白に焼けるほどの強烈な太陽の日差しの下で、ロバの世話係の少年(注:ダフーム(注45)のこと)にすっかり見惚れてしまった(drink in=ボォッとなる)時のことだ。

Feisal awoke me softly from my thoughts, saying, "And what is it that makes you seem so far away?"

"The way that the world changes. Four years ago, I was an archaeologist. I was obscenely happy... I thought that my life had all come right. I suppose I thought that it would last for ever."

"Only God is for ever. The rest is his will."

And I was reminded of how deeply ingrained was Feisal's faith, against which my own tenuous grasp on Christianity was a charade.

"When you speak of Carchemish," he said, "your eyes say more than your words, as if they hid a sweet secret. I think that you may have found someone there who for a time was very special to you."
「君の目は口程にものを言うようだな。まるで甘美な秘密でも隠しているみたいに。思うに君がその地にいたしばらくの間(for a time=一時)、君には誰か特別な相手がいたのではないかな」

"You are a seer, not a sherif," I replied, as lightly as I was able.

"And you are not a soldier, but a magician who has hopelessly bewitched us in order that we might carry out your plans." Then he paused, contemplating this pink faced little bundle of Arab laundry squatting on his carpet, and murmured, "You are an unusual man, Lawrence. You are too outspoken, occasionally insolent, but you are also very easy to love. Some would say that men like you should be loved very often, because it is the best way to keep them content and out of trouble."
「ならば君も軍人などではなく、まんまと(hopelessly=完全に)我々をたぶらかし、君の計画を実行させてしまう(in order that=so that:するために)魔術師ではないかな」

My chest tightened, and I forced down unsteady, almost hysterical laughter. "Trouble may be my lot, because I am as clean as the day I was born." There fell a silence, and then I said, "I couldn't. I think that I wanted to, but I couldn't."

Feisal looked perplexed. Finally, he said gently, "I believe that you are missing an experience to be treasured."

The low voice of Sharraf came from beyond the tent flap, calling for a last audience before sleep. Feisal rose, his robes swirling about his tall, slender form, kissed my forehead through the fine fabric of my headcloth, and said, "Rest; tomorrow I will need your counsel." It was the most delicate touch, but all the same I shook for a while after he had gone; I who had once held up under a beating in a Turkish cell, but remained a coward when it came to intimacy with another human being.


TE Lawrence's journal

Wadi Yenbo, 4 December 1916:

I said a temporary farewell to our old war-horse Henry Garland shortly before dawn this morning. As excellently as he gets along in the half-savage company of the Bedouin, he showed considerable relief at the prospect of rejoining the disciplined units of his regular Arab troops, and volunteered so hastily to return to Yenbo and begin sending the new field reports over the wire, that more men were amused than offended. So we shook hands fondly, for the short night's escapade that we had been on together, and Nasir sent him off with an escort, happy as a mouse in malt to be rid of his robes, the awkwardness of which had been reducing him almost to tears on an hourly basis, and back in uniform.
今朝夜が明ける少し前に、私は我が老兵(war-horse=修羅場好きな手練)ヘンリー・ガーランドにしばしの別れを告げた。いかにガーランドが、おおむね野蛮人の群れに等しいベドウィンの中でうまくやっていくことに長けていると言っても((As)+形容詞・副詞+as=譲歩)、彼本来の持ち場である正規アラブ軍というキチンと統率された部隊にようやく復帰できる見通しに、さすがのガーランドもかなりホッとした様子だった。そして少しでも早くイェンボーへ立ち戻り、最新の現場報告を自ら本部に伝えたいと申し出たことに対して、アラブ人たちは気分を害するというよりは、むしろ喜んでくれたようだった(注:そんなになるまで耐えてきたガーランドを哀れに思って)。そうやって我々は短い時間ではあったが、共に過ごした夕べの無礼講ぶりを振り返り、名残惜しげに握手を交わした。やがてナジールは護衛を1人付けてガーランドを送り出した。それを着ている間中ずっと彼を苦しめてきた(reduce+目+to tears=泣かせる)厄介極まりないローブを、まるで麦芽にまみれたネズミのように大喜びで脱ぎ捨てると、ガーランドはやがて元の制服姿へと戻った。

My garrison camel is still too unsteady for riding, and Ali presented me with Kariz, said to have been plundered along with the other personal property of a Turkish general, and aside from a slightly deflated hump after long and hungry weeks of traveling, a most stately creature. I took her on a short jaunt around the flat, arid valley, partly to get the feel of her movement and stride, and partly because she shines very pale in the light, and with a scarlet Hashemite flag tied onto her saddle and flapping in the breeze below my own robes, we looked quite a spectacle. I took a mischievous pleasure in weaving her in and out of the tents and resting animals, which brought grumbles and flying stones from their owners, and one man of the Juheina, losing a cooking pot to her great feet, leapt up to shriek at us. Kariz paused, checked, and spat. His fellow tribesmen, previously his supporters, now turned on him and howled with laughter, and he was left to wash the stinking stuff away as best he could and lament.
駐屯部隊で拝借した私の例のラクダは平静を失い、まだ乗馬できるような状態ではなかったので、アリはカリズというラクダを私に授けてくれた。トルコ軍の将軍から個人財産を没収した際に一緒に取り上げたそうなのだが、空腹なまま数週間に渡る長旅をしたせいで多少コブがしぼんでいる点を除けば、とても(a most=非常に)威厳に満ちた生き物だった。私はカリズに乗って、平原やカラカラに乾いた渓谷の周辺へと遠出した。カリズの動きや乗り心地を味わうためでもあったが、光を浴びるとカリズはとても青白く輝き、鞍に括り付けられた赤いハシミテ旗が私のローブの下で風にはためく雄姿を見せびらかせたいためでもあった。はた迷惑にも私は大喜びで、テントや休養中のラクダたちの間を飛び回り、他のラクダたちからは唸り声を浴びせられ、彼らの飼い主からは石を投げつけられ、ジュヘイナ族(注46)の男の1人は、カリズの素晴らしい脚のおかげで調理鍋を壊され、大声を上げながら飛び掛ってきた。が、カリズは立ち停まり、ジロジロとその男を検分すると、唾をペッと吐きかけた。ジュヘイナ男の一族たちは、その前までは男に同情的だったが、突然手のひらを返し(turn on=突然攻撃する)たように大笑いしながらはやし立てた(howled with laughter=大笑いした)。おかげでせいぜいその男は、ひどい匂いがするそれを洗い落とし、自らの身の不運を嘆くしかなかった。

Once again I am an Englishman outnumbered by many Arabs, as it was at Jarablus, only then we were undisputed masters of our territory. Our Arabs, with few exceptions, were largely ignorant, and held us in a sort of awe; very gratifying to the ego, but as the days roll by, mutating into a cold, hungry isolation, a golden house that friends have built for you but will not come to dine in, the nomadic existence of one flung far from his fatherland, but unable to forge ties in the country where he has come to rest. They loved us and labored for us with a degree of passion that made it impossible for them to accept us as their own, because such a passion is unnatural, and contains none of the balanced loves and hates, the petty squabbles, the competitions, the comforts, and all of the hardships and victories undertaken and won together that makes for the relationship of brothers.
ここでも私は、夥しい数のアラブ人に対してあくまで少数派の英国人でしかなかった。かつて私がジャラブラスにいた時と同じように。あの時だけは、自らの領土において我々はまぎれもなく主たりえた(注:発掘現場では常にアラブ人労働者たちはイギリス人雇用主に媚びへつらう関係にいたから)。我々が知るアラブ人たちは、僅かな例外を除いて、概ね無学であり、我々に対してある種畏敬の念を抱いていた。私はうぬぼれていたのだ。だが日が経つに連れて(roll by=歳月が過ぎ去る)、畏怖と思えたものは、寒々しい空腹を抱える孤立へと変わった。友人たちはあなたに黄金の家を建ててくれたが、祖国から遠く離れた場所に放り出された根無し草のような存在には誰一人晩餐に訪ねてくれることも無かった。が、かといって逗留先の国で連帯感を育むこともまた、できなかった。彼らは我々を愛し、我々のために働いてくれたが、その熱意は我々を彼らの一員として迎え入れる類のものではなかった。そのような情熱はおよそ不自然であり、そこには、ほど良い愛憎の念も無ければ、ちょっとした口論や競争や慰めも無く、仲間同士の連帯感を築かんと快く苦労を引き受け、共に勝利を勝ち取る気など、これっぽっちもありはしないからだ。

Then I came to al Hamra, and though peace was very far away, it was as if it were Carchemish with our men grown out of childish thoughts, and with their raising, and myself lowered and glad for it, we met on a level where we might embrace at last and take simple, undemanding satisfaction in one anothers company. I found my freedom once in Arabia, and I think that I could do so again; special for my victories, but the color of my skin and my interminable foreign-ness shrouded by the acceptance of those around me.


We were tense, knowing that the Turks must be moving, and the Bedouin, for whom it was undignified to sit and wait for so long, grew restless. A Juheina man fought with one of the Bishah over a trifling matter, and the disagreement escalated until the entire tribe of each were shouldering their rifles and swearing death to one anothers leaders. The sherifs made threats of their own, but the Bishah and the Juheina were declaring war for five generations, and would not relent until Feisal took the men who had started the fracas and made them kneel at the top of a hill with his servants hanging swords over them, vowing to cut off their heads and make an example of them before the entire camp.
トルコ軍移動の気配を察知して、我々はピリピリしていた。座して手をこまねいているのは不名誉なことと自認するベドウィンたちは次第に落ち着きを失い始めた。ジュヘイナ族の男は、ほんのささいな理由でビシャー族(注47)の男と諍いを起こした。双方の意見の相違は次第にエスカレートし、最後にはそれぞれの部族全員がライフルを構え、互いのリーダーを殺すと宣言し合う事態に至ってしまった。族長たちは自らの手で喧嘩両成敗に処すると脅したが、ビシャー族とジュヘイナ族は、この戦いは5世代は続くだろうと訴えていた。そしてそれはなかなか収まりそうになかった。ファイサルがこの喧嘩騒動を起こした男たちを捕らえ、家来に刃を翳されながら丘の頂上でひざまずかせ、(収まらなければ)必ずやこの者たちの頭を切り落としキャンプの全員の前で見せしめにする(make an example of a person=人を見せしめに懲らす)であろうと誓約するまでは……。

Afterwards, he returned to the tent and ate, looking tired, and said, "Fighting in the Wadi Safra was preferable to this. The Bedouin will not remain loyal forever without more promises and more gold. And when the gold runs out, what then?"

"When the British gold runs out," I replied, "they can make themselves rich from the pockets of Jemal Pasha's corpse in Damascus." I named this most loathed of the Turks specifically, for he was anathema to Hussein's sons, who had watched friends of theirs kick out their lives at the end of a rope under Jemal's orders.

Feisal smiled wistfully. "We have been singing the song called 'Damascus' for a long time, but when I hear it from your lips, I find myself believing once again that it can happen. You awaken old ambitions and new yearnings in me."

Then he grew quiet. We were seated very near to one another, and he reached out and slowly outlined the contours of my cheekbone and jaw, his fingers aromatic from the sweetbreads that we had been nibbling on, and so tender that all my composure dropped away at that simple touch and left me trembling.

"Perhaps one day I may please you as well as you please me?"
「思うにいつの日か私は、君を喜ばせることができるだろうか? 君がいつも私を喜ばせてくれるように……」

"You have pleased me since the moment we first met," I answered.

His smile grew warmer. And then I became a weightless thing moored only in his eyes, and a throbbing, burning chasm of what I supposed to be lust yawned deep within me as our mouths came together. A velvety and a very warm tongue stroked my lips, and a moan rose in my throat, soft and pleading, against the invader. He caressed once or twice more, then released me as if with great reluctance, and my moan too was, this time, of disappointment.

"Do you find that pleasing also?" he murmured.

I did not know how to say yes, and so I burrowed against his shoulder, breathing in the sweat and sand dust in his robes and the hot, musk-rose scent that was uniquely Feisal. He folded me into his arms, and when my comfortable body next stirred, the shadows were lengthening, and we were curled up together on the carpet with the familiarity of neither lovers or brothers, falling short of the one, yet still transcending the second.
たった一言イエスと伝える術を私は知らなかった。なので私はファイサルの肩に顔を埋めた。そのローブに染み込んだ汗や砂埃、そしてファイサル独特の強烈なムスクローズ(注:地中海地方原産の植物)の芳香を嗅ぎながら。ファイサルは腕の中に私を抱き寄せた。その心地さに酔い痴れていた私の体がようやく身じろいだ時にはもう、影はすっかり長くなっており(注:夜がふけたことを表す)、カーペットの上に横たわりながら私たちは手足を絡み合わせて眠っていた。恋人同士とも兄弟とも違う、恋人とまでは言えないが(fall short of=に達しない)兄弟関係ならもうとっくに超えている親密さで……。


I woke suddenly one morning a few days later, a short while before dawn, and lay there in my little partially warmed bed-cocoon in full alertness, the sort that comes from the conviction that one has been disturbed by a sound, but returned to consciousness a fragment of a second too late to identify it. I held still without even drawing a breath, and after a few moments, it came again: the dull, rumbling sound of mountain guns in the distance. After that, I did not wait any longer, but flew out of the tent in bare feet, and ran directly into Sharraf, who had been on his way to fetch me.
それから数日経ったある朝、私は突然目を覚ました。夜が明けるまでには当分間があったので、そのまま横になっていた。ところどころぬくもりが残っている繭型の小さなベッドの中でひたすら警戒して。物音によって眠りを妨げられた気がしたが、その正体をつかむには目覚めるのが(return to consciousness=wake up)少々遅すぎたようだった。私は微動だにせず息をも殺していたが、しばらくたつと再び音がした。鈍いとどろくような山岳銃の音が遠くから聞こえてきた。こうなったら、もうじっとしてはいられない。裸足のままテントから飛び出すと私は、ちょうど私を呼びに来たシャラーフ目掛けて一直線に突っ走った。

"Zeid thinks that they are at Bir el Muria," he said, in response to my questioning eyes. "Some of his men broke rank during their retreat, and it is possible that the Turks have found them skulking like dogs in the hills." Then his disgust seemed to fade, and he added, "May God protect them."
「中には退却する間に脱落する者(break rank=落伍する)も出ているそうだ。丘の中へ犬みたいに逃げ隠れしたとしても逆にトルコ軍に見つかってしまう恐れだってあるのに」

We appeared to be safe from immediate danger, so I slipped into cloak and sandals and threaded my way through the stirring, chattering troops looking for Feisal, whom I eventually ran to ground at Nasir's tent, already wreathed in a haze of smoke, and deeply in discussion with Nasir, Ali and Zeid about the implications of our rude awakening. As soon as I shuffled in, he leapt up and made room for me on Nasir's huge and beautiful Persian rug (which was jealously guarded by its owner, and, on lengthy journeys, traveled on its own mule) motioning for me to sit at his side, and saying, "Sharraf has given you the news?"
当面の危険からは逃れた……。そう我々には思われた。私は外套をスルリと羽織ると(slip into=するりと〜を着る)、サンダルを引っ掛け、賑やかで騒がしい部隊の間を縫うようにくぐり抜けた(thread one's way=縫うように通り抜ける)。ファイサルの姿を求めて。散々探した挙句、ついにナジールのテントにいたファイサルを見つけることができた(run...to ground=run to earth=散々探してやっと捕まえる)。既にファイサルはもうもうたる煙に包まれて(注:長時間喫煙していたことを表す)ナジールやアリやザイドたちと、今回我々が不様に叩き起こされたことが何を意味するかについて深い議論を交わしていた。私がすり足で近づくやいなや、ナジールは慌てて立ち上がり、隣に座るよう私に身振りで示して、自分の巨大で美しいペルシャ絨毯(その持ち主からうやうやしげに守られ、長い旅程中専用のラバに載せて運ばれていた)の上に私のための場所を空けてくれた。

"The Turks might be planning to skirt Masahali," I said, voicing our concerns, "and march on Yenbo from the South."

Feisal looked grave. "Lawrence, I fear for Yenbo. We are far enough away here for the enemy to come between us and the town if they should move suddenly. It would take Abdullah days to arrive with relief, and so I think that we must accept that we are alone and act accordingly."

Ali spoke, with the rapidity that revealed his hot Harithi blood impatient for action beneath. "Nasir proposes a move, to a position only three miles outside Yenbo. It is a wadi open on three sides, so that it will not be an easy task to take us by surprise when we are camped there. Also there is water, and it is very green, which will let the animals become fat and strong again. Not without reason is it known as God's Fingerprint," he added, and we smiled at the originality that the Arabs occasionally displayed when bestowing names and nicknames on their land.
「ナジールの提案は、イェンボーから3マイルだけ外れた場所へ移ってはどうかというものだ。そこは3方が開けている枯れ谷だ。あそこで野営したなら、簡単に不意をつかれたりしないはずだ(take〜by surprise=奇襲して陥れる)。あそこには水もあるし、緑も多く、ラクダたちを太らせ、体力を回復させることもできる。何の理由も無く『神の指紋』と呼ばれているわけではないのだ(注:否定語を文頭に置く強調の倒置文)……」

The boy soldier in me thrilled to the picture of our massed armies on the march, with the tribesmen's' clothing bright hued against their dark gold skin, and columns bearing banners against the sky, and Feisal at the head of it all, fine and worn as a Greek statue; however, I realized that such a procession would be as good as waving and shouting to those whose attention we did not want whilst the Hashemite troops were so haphazard and demoralized. So I agreed with the move, but suggested that it be made in smaller units fanned out across country.

Zeid, looking downcast, said, "I cannot help thinking that if we let some of the Harb leave now, it will be the last that we shall see of them."

"Then let them ride without pay or more meat than they can catch themselves," interrupted Ali. "Most of them are far from their villages. If they know that food and gold is waiting for them there, they will make Yenbo fast enough."

"I wonder if it will ever come to something other than this," mused Feisal.

"Soon," I answered. He slid his hand between us unseen, and I felt the pressure of his fingers, warm and strong, around mine.

The army Imam called for the morning prayer a little way down the ridge where Nasir's tent was pitched, a clear, bell-like sound that pierced the mist. Feisal stood, and said, "Let us pray for a safe passage with a victory at the end." Then he stepped past the tent flap to tell the Imam to call again and announce that everyone was to undertake this dawn worship together in the open air.
ファイサルはテントの垂れ幕を掻い潜り、司式僧に告げた。再び皆に呼びかけ、今日の早朝野外礼拝は全員で執り行うべし(be to do=義務・命令)と知らしめるようにと。

The servants brought jugs of water for the sherifs' ritual wash before prayer, and they themselves then went for the 'dry' wash known as tayammum, the simple touching of clean earth and then wiping over the face and limbs in imitation of cleansing. We went out into the half light, shivering a little, as the wind cut about our shoulders like a knife. First, Feisal and Zeid laid down their prayer rugs, with their lieutenants just behind, then came the tribal sheiks, and finally the fighting men, so that even before the face of God, where all men are humble, there was rank.

I was in the habit of retiring discreetly to read or walk whilst the Arabs were at their devotions, but this morning, Feisal took my sleeve and said, "Pray with us, Lawrence?"
アラブ人たちが祈りを捧げている間、私は読書や散歩して目立たぬように過ごしていた(retire to=〜に引っ込む)。だが今朝のファイサルは私の袖を掴むとこう告げた。
「共に祈ってくれないか? ロレンス」

"But I am not Muslim."

"Then pray to the Prophet Isa," he replied, using Christ's Islamic name, "and through him touch God for a few moments."

It suddenly occurred to me that Feisal was trying to make me Muslim in his own mind, so that I might be closer to him, just as I praised his tolerance and liberal outlook in my letters, and thrilled unconsciously whenever he made a comment or action that seemed especially Western. A dull possibility to consider, that those who have the greatest potential to be our friends and loves are those that provide us with the clearest mirror of our own selves, and that I, in my search for a place in the world, had learned to become a chameleon.

A rug was brought for me, and the Imam, faintly distressed at this infidel before him in Arab garb, began the first lines of prayer. I closed my eyes, hearing the accompanying voices rise up over and over, swaying me with great waves of sound, the rustle of Feisal's robes as he bowed and knelt in accordance with the words: 'O God, all praise be to You, O God greater than all else.' There was a glorious sense of something more than community, a total relieving of individual vanity and desire as we became not many, but one, and in my last moments of separateness, I said a very earnest personal prayer before, for the first time in years, making obeisance under Heaven.

Afterwards, Feisal addressed the Bedouin whilst they were still en masse, dividing them thus and so, taking care to instruct the man in command of each party not to engage the enemy unless in defense, for we needed our troops alive, and there was greater glory waiting for them in the days ahead. He spoke to each one in turn to determine what supplies they needed and to pledge their friendship and loyalty to one another as fellow Arabs. As they departed, he whispered to me, "You should have a command of your own, but I am too jealous to let anyone take you from my side for long," and I was hardly inclined to protest. The first camels were mobile by sunrise.
礼拝が終わるとファイサルはベドウィンたちを呼び寄せ −まだ彼らは一箇所に固まって(en masse=一緒に)いたが− 彼らを所定のグループに分け(thus and so=そういうふうに)、各々のグループを指揮する者に、満足な守りも無しに敵に応戦しないよう注意深く指導しながら、何より自分たちの部隊の者には生き残ってもらわなければならない、来るべき日にはより大きな栄光が君らを待っているからだと演説した。一人一人めいめいにファイサルは話し掛けた。彼らが必要としている物資を探るために。そして同じアラブ人仲間として、互いの友情と忠節を誓うために。そうして、いざ出発という時、ファイサルは私にこう囁きかけた。

Feisal's party consisted mostly of the Agayl, who made up the Hashemite bodyguard, and the Bishah. Whilst I was distributing cartridges and gossiping with the Agayli men - a comparatively pleasant pastime, since they were the flowers of the desert, and kept themselves and their clothes nicely in the service of the sherifs - I noticed Feisal in heated debate with Abd al-Basit of the Bishah tribe. Their expressions were very hard, and, wondering what the reason was for the sudden ill feeling, I went quietly to speak to Zeid in the hope of shedding some light on the subject. However, when I questioned him, Zeid, reserved as always, grew large-eyed and did not want to discuss the matter. I became angry, and after much cajoling, he finally told me that some of the Arabs, the Bishah among them, had been offended when Feisal allowed a Christian to pray in their midst, and were accusing him of showing unnatural favoritism towards me.
ファイサルの部隊のほとんどは、ハシミテ家直属の護衛隊を務めるアガエル族(注52)とビシャー族から構成されていた。私がアガエル族の男と薬莢を配ったり噂話をし合っていると − それはどちらかというと嬉しい類の気晴らしだった。なぜなら彼らは「砂漠の咲いた花」のような存在であり、シェリフに仕えるため体や服装を常に小奇麗に保っていたからだ − ファイサルがビシャー族のアブド・アル・バシット(注53)と激しく言い争いをしているのに気がついた。2人の言い方は非常に厳しく、なぜ突然不機嫌になったのか私にはとても不思議だった。私はこっそりザイドに聞きに行った。事態にある種の光明を投じてくれるのではと期待して。ところが私が尋ねても、ザイドはいつものように感情を外に表さず、眼を大きく見開き、この件に触れたがらなかった。頭に来た私が散々甘言を弄すると、ザイドはとうとう私に教えてくれた。アラブ人の中には、とりわけビシャー族がそうだというのだが、キリスト教徒がアラブの民に混じって祈祷することをファイサルが許したことに憤慨する者がいたのだと。さらに、ファイサルが私に不自然な偏愛ぶりを示していることについても彼らは非難しているのだと。

This was a major setback to my careful integration into the Hashemite forces, but it should not have come as a surprise. Yet it did, and with it came a dreadful sense of guilt. I knew that my desert crusade had once been purely in the interests of my own storybook ambitions, and now it was little or nothing to do with these, and it hurt that my fondness for Feisal and his for me might have the power to divide him from his people. Fondness we certainly shared; I did not dare call it anything more. It was Zeid who found the words for me.
このような事態は、細心の注意を払ってハシミテ軍に溶け込もうとしている私にとって、大いなる妨げだった。といって別段、驚くべきことでもなかった。それでもやはり、私は動揺し、同時にひどい罪悪感に襲われた。私には分かっていた。かつて私が砂漠の十字軍活動に首を突っ込んだのは、ただひたすら純粋にお伽話的な私自身の野望によるものだった(in the interests of=のために)が、今やそんな当初の目的からはほとんど、というよりもすっかり逸脱してしまい(注:今は自分自身の興味のためよりファイサルのためであるから)、結果、私のファイサルへの好意や私へのファイサルの好意が、ファイサルを慕う人々との間に亀裂を生じさせる要因にもなりかねなかった。確かに私たちは互いに好意を抱いていた。私はあえてそれを口にはしなかったが、ザイドが的確に表現してくれた。

"I believe that my brother has lost his heart to you, Lawrence Bey," he said, adding before I could speak, "as have you to him."

Then he excused himself and went to supervise the loading of his camels, leaving me there in the sand; no longer the TE Lawrence who had set out to carve his name in the rocks of the Orient, nor the British soldier determined to steal Syria from beneath the noses of the French, nor the Lawrence who thought and spoke as an Arab and was comrade in arms to the sherifs, but each of them for a few minutes at a time, and profoundly confused.
やがてザイドは辞去し、ラクダの積荷の監督に出かけた。砂漠の真ん中に私を置き去りにして……。もはや東洋の地の岩壁に自らの名前を刻む(=東洋関連の仕事で功績を上げ、世界的に有名になること)べく出発したTE・ロレンスでもなければ、フランスの鼻っ先からシリアをかっさらう決意を漲らせたイギリス軍人でもなく、アラブ人のように考えたり話したりする、シェリフにとっては戦友である(comrades in arms=戦友たち)ロレンスでもなかった。だがほんの短い時間の間に、さまざまな顔をした自分が次々と現れ(at a time=一度に)、私をひどく狼狽させた。

We began to draw near to the oasis called God's Fingerprint at mid-morning, and though it was our haven, we remained prudent, and Feisal sent three of the Agayl ahead to ensure the route was safe. They were gasping up beside us again within the space of half an hour, which could only mean very good news or very poor. The youngest of them dropped from his horse, and to our disbelief and dismay, began to illustrate for us with elaborate gestures the hundreds of Turkish tents which they had seen as they hid at the mouth of the wadi. Probably the Agayl exaggerated, but even with the advantage of surprise, for our little fraught group to descend on the enemy and not be cut down in the scrub before we had taken out even a quarter of their numbers would be nothing short of a miracle.
朝のうちに我々は神の指紋と呼ばれるオアシスへと近づきつつあった(draw near=近寄る)。そこは我々が隠れ家と目する場所であったが、まだまだ油断はできなかった。ファイサルは行路の安全を確かめるため、アガエル族の3人を先に行かせた。が、ものの30分もしないうちに(a space of=〜の間。通例単数形)、彼らは我々の傍らでハアハアと息を上げていた。これは結果がただ単純に嬉しい知らせか最悪の知らせかの、どちらか一方であることを意味していた。一番若い男が馬から降り、半信半疑な我々にそしてひどく狼狽している我々に、見事なジェスチャーで描写してみせた。何百というトルコ軍のテントがワディのとばっ口に隠れるように集まっているのが見えたと。アガエル族の男の話には幾分誇張があったかもしれない。だが驚きが手伝ったとはいえ、すっかり怖気づいたちっぽけな小隊である我々にとって、敵目がけて突っ込み、奴らの4分の1もやっつけない(take out=殺す)うちに切り刻まれ、草むらの上に四散するのを免れる確率など、奇跡に近い(nothing short of=ほとんど〜で)程だった。

I met Feisal's eyes, both of us asking the same question: is this the right time to ask for a miracle? and both knowing the answer. He shook his head wearily. For once, every Arab was silent. As they watched, I re-mounted the resting Kariz and, urging her to rise, turned her head Southward and towards Yenbo.
ファイサルと目が合った。2人は互いに同じ問いを発していた。今がまさに奇跡を乞うべき時なのか? と。だが私たちは共にその答えを知っていた。ファイサルは(=奇跡など起こりそうにないこの状況に)やれやれと首を振った。アラブ人たち全員が一瞬静まり返った。衆人環視の中、休憩中のカリズに再び跨った私は、立ち上がるとカリズの鼻先を南の、イェンボーへと向けた。


TE Lawrence's journal

Yenbo, 9 December 1916:

The garrison pulled out all the stops as we approached Yenbo, and set up a guard lest the Turks should be following on our heels, so our entrance was grand, only rather lacking in spirits. Zeid arrived an hour after, and there were men trickling in steadily for most of the afternoon; I learned this later by third party, for upon dismounting, I was informed that I was wanted by Garland, and whisked away without leave for so much as a meal or a change of clothes.
我々がイェンボーに向かう間、駐屯部隊はせいぜい奮闘し(pull out all the stops=できるだけの努力をする)、トルコ軍が我々の後をつけてこないよう歩哨を立てた。なので我々の入場は堂々たるものであったが、快活さという点ではかなり怪しかった。ザイドは1時間遅れで到着し、その後に軍勢が午後一杯かけて、ボツボツとではあるが切れ目なく入場した……とまあ、以上のことを実は、後になって第三者の口から聞かされたのである。というのも下馬するやいなや、ガーランドが私に火急の用があるらしいと告げられ、食事を取る暇も服を着替える暇も与えられず、慌てて連れて行かれたからだ。

As I sat curled up in a chair, half-dozing, in the office of the garrison building, I found myself listening to a familiar voice, and squinted across the room to see a figure deep in conversation, whom I eventually recognized as Storrs. I was dusty and windswept enough to shock, so I coughed loudly, and sat there grinning at him. He glanced across his shoulder and gave me a hard stare, then glanced again and replaced it with a thoroughly amazed one. Finally he excused himself, came over, and after another long look, said, "Good God, you've changed, haven't you? I was about to have you chucked out as one of the Arabs who keep wandering in and pestering us for baksheesh!"
守備隊が駐屯する建物内にある事務所のイスの上で背中を丸めるように座ってうたた寝していると、懐かしい声がするのに気が付いた。目を細めて部屋を見渡すと、熱心に話し込んでいる(deep in=耽る)男の姿が目に入り、やっとそれがストーズであることを認識した。はたから見れば唖然とするほど埃まみれで、風に吹き晒されてクシャクシャになっていた私は大げさに咳払いすると座ったままストーズに向かってニッコリと微笑んで見せた。肩越しにチラッと一瞥をくれるとストーズは私をきつく睨み付けた。そして再び視線を寄越すと、今度は呆気に取られたといわんばかりに目を見張った。とうとうストーズは中座する非礼を詫びるとこちらにやって来た。そしてもう一度私をじっくり観察すると、こう宣った。
「おいおい……何てこった。すっかり変わっちまったじゃないか? もう少しで叩き出すとこだったよ! 事務所内をウロチョロしてはしつこくチップをせがむアラブ人の連中かって」

"Our valued Allies, in case you had forgotten. What are you doing here, anyway?"
「我が尊き盟友よ。忘れてしまってるといけないので言っておくがね(笑)。まあ、それはともかく、こんなところで一体何をしてるんだい? ストーズ」

"Come to see how good a fortress Garland's built with all the money you've been asking for."

I replied that he should not have to wait long to find out, and told him the story of our misadventure with the Turks. Then Garland himself arrived, and we set to the task of planning out the port's defenses. A token appearance by our field-guns, really, as, with admirable foresight, he had made hot the telegraph wires demanding naval backup within the hour of his return to Yenbo. Storrs wanted to meet with the Arabs and discuss ways in which we could utilize the men we had around the countryside to be a nuisance to the Turkish vanguards, and I escorted him to Feisal's house. Feisal was resting, but his servant told him that I was here, and he emerged very quickly and amenably. To my delight, he and Storrs hit it off, and were soon discussing desert warfare, the Suez situation, and Arabic literature, all with equal zeal.
ストーズが実態を把握するのは時間の問題だと私は答え、トルコ軍のおかげで被った不幸な出来事を話して聞かせた。やがてガーランド自身も到着し、我々は我らがイェンボー港を防衛するための方策を立案する作業に取り掛かった。野戦用の銃で申し訳程度に取り繕ってはいるが実の所は……。というわけで見事な洞察力の持ち主であるガーランドはイェンボーに戻るまでの時間に、ひっきりなしに電報を打ち(注:hotとthe telegraph wiresが意図的に倒置されている。たくさん電報を打つと電信機は熱くなるらしい)、海軍の援護を要求したのだ。ストーズはアラブ軍要人と会見し、その地域に配置している部隊を、トルコ軍先陣部隊の妨害に利用するための方策を話し合いたいと言うので、私はストーズをファイサルの宿舎まで連れて行った。ファイサルは休んでいたが、召使いが私の来訪を告げると、いそいそと大慌てで飛び出してきた。嬉しいことにファイサルとストーズは馬が合い(hit it off=口語:そりが合う)、たちまち意見を交換し始めた。砂漠での戦闘や、スエズの状況、アラビア文学などあらゆる事柄について、共に負けず劣らぬ熱意を込めて。

Afterwards, Storrs and I walked by the date palms behind the house, and he said to me, "If we could get a man to act with each of the sherifs the way you do with Feisal, this revolt would be a damned sight easier."
「ファイサルに対する君のように、他のシェリフについても上手くあしらえる人材に恵まれていたなら、この反乱は遥かに(a damned sight=非常に)容易なものだっただろうにな」

"Oh?" I inquired.

"He's devoted to you. Don't try and tell me you can't see that."

"Sherif Feisal is a gentleman; we get along splendidly, and it's because he's such a gentleman that his Arabs are still in our pay and not the Turks', so they're the ones you ought to worry about when you start deciding who is devoted to who." All this so impassively, when I shudder at the merest touch from Feisal, and feel my lips still warm and swollen from his kisses.
「シェリフ・ファイサルは紳士だよ。我々はうまく立ち回ってはいるが、それはひとえにファイサルが紳士である所以さ。だからこそ彼に従うアラブ人たちはいまだにトルコ人ではなく、我々に雇われるのを(in the pay of=〜に雇われて)よしとしてくれるのさ。誰が誰に夢中かなんて考える暇があったら、もっと連中のことを案じるべきではないのかね?」


In our attempts to relieve the agonizing waiting, and burn away the adrenaline that pounded every hour of the day, knowing it must find an outlet, we turned to each other. Long days of drilling and expeditions and bouts of unlicensed play by the Bedouin because they were young and were going to live forever, at least those of them who could find a way to cheat the Turks, became even longer nights of wakefulness when we sat in twos and threes beneath the great suffocating blanket of darkness, even in rest, listening. The need for companionship is savage when death seems close at hand, yet far enough away to have space to anticipate for hours at a time, and, forced to wait here for the primeval poetry of bloodshed that empties the mind and washes away all itching, monkey-inquisitive sins, we instead asked for human comfort in mutual contemplation.
ただじっと待ち続けるというストレスを紛らせ、四六時中たぎりっぱなしのアドレナリン(=喧嘩っ早い血の気)を発散させるために、何らかのはけ口が必要なのは誰に目にも明らかだった。なので打ち解けようと人々は互いに関心を向け合った。教練や遠征に明け暮れ、ベドウィンたちの一連の勝手な振る舞いに −というのも彼らは皆若く、少なくともトルコ軍を出し抜く方法を見つけることのできた連中は死ぬことなんてありえないと言わんばかりの勢いだったからだが− さらされ続ける毎日は、ただ休んで耳を済ませているだけだというのに、息が詰まりそうな暗闇という重苦しい毛布の下、三々五々身を寄せ合って座る夜を、ことさら一層、長く、そして眠れないものにした。死がすぐ間近に迫っている時にこみ上げる、誰かと深く心を通わせ合いたいという衝動は容赦ないほどだった。敵とはまだ十分離れているせいで不安に慄いている暇が何時間もあるといえども……(at a time=その間中)。そして、古の昔から繰り返される流血の殺戮の歌(=人間性を失わせるような激しい混乱・極限状態)を −それは心をカラッポにし、うずうずして仕方ない猿のようにやたらと詮索したがる罪を根こそぎ洗い流してしまうが− ここでただじっと待ち続ける代わりに、我々はお互いを思いやることで人間らしい慰めを求めるほうを選んだのだ。

Feisal and I, sharing his little stone house almost beneath the very walls of Yenbo, passed our evenings in this way, when he would smoke and read, and I would write, or amuse myself by sketching him. When the lamps were put out and the fire allowed to die down, ostensibly for sleep, but a sleep that rarely descended, we huddled together in the new chill of the room and talked softly, conspirators and comforters. Then, after a time, even the pretense of conversation became too much of a strain, and I would squeeze shut my eyes and listen instead to the rhythm of his breathing, the minute pulse in the hollow of his throat, as his fingers traveled in quick, fluttering caresses around my temples, jaw, shoulders, through the untidy thatch of my hair, touching and then moving on just as the flesh was beginning to stir, and leaving me wanting more, always more, without knowing how much more I could give and still retain my detachment and my objectives.
私とファイサルは、ファイサルの石造りの小屋で −それはまさにイェンボーを取り囲む城壁のほぼ真下に位置していた− 共同生活をすることになったが、毎晩をこんな風に過ごしていた。ファイサルは喫煙と読書をし、私はと言えば、書き物をするか、ファイサルのスケッチをして楽しんだ。ランプが消され、焚き火も落とした(die down=下火になる)(allowed=is allowed)。一応就寝しようと試みて。とはいえ眠気に襲われることはめったになく、改めて寒々しく感じる部屋の中で互いに身を寄せ合っていた。そして密かに話し合った。時に共謀者として、時に慰安者のように(asの省略)。やがておしゃべりする振りですら辛くなってくると、私はギュッと目を閉じ、代わりにファイサルのリズミカルな息遣いに、その喉のくぼみで脈打つ微かな鼓動に耳を傾けた。その間、ファイサルの指は、すばやく、蝶が羽ばたくように愛撫しながら、私のこめかみや顎や肩の辺りを、乱れた髪の毛の中をまさぐり、彷徨い巡った。接触の範囲が広がるにつれて、私の中の肉欲が頭をもたげた(flesh=性器の婉曲表現)。そうやってファイサルは私をひどく貪欲にさせ、回数を重ねるたびにそれは昂ずるばかりだった。このままファイサルに身を捧げてしまい(give=give of himself,his body, his heart)、それでも超然として、自分の目標を見失わずにいられるものなのか……私には見当もつかなかった。

We were picking over the last few greasy remains from supper one night when Salim, Garland's lieutenant, finally came to tell us that the Turks were moving. Feisal listened very quietly, then as soon as the Egyptian was done, stepped through the door to the room where he slept, and reappeared with a rifle in hand. Salim tried to halt him, but Feisal shook him off.

"My nerves are torn to pieces. I would rather die fighting than go on consuming myself from the inside."

I dug my fingers into his arm until the joints whitened, and pain forced him to meet my eyes. "Arabia would rather sing songs about your victories than your heroic death. And so would I."

Time froze as we stood, staring at one another, this most comical couple: Feisal the dynastic prince, eminently noble and at the same time made vulnerable among men because of that nobility and that dignity; myself, the scholar aping a soldier, ridiculously inferior to him both physically and socially and yet, because of that closeness to the world, sometimes able to see what he could not or would not, and all the while holding in my hands the power to give him what he so deserved. In those few, sad-sweet moments, it seemed to me that we saw all of our differences clearly, and then scorned them, drove relentlessly through them, and began to cement a deeper bond. He removed my hand, and brought it to his mouth instead, touching his lips to the backs of my fingers in the way that his visiting sheikhs greeted him, denoting both affection and respect.
時が止まったかのように、互いに見詰め合ったまま、この最も滑稽なカップルは −ハシミテ王朝の王子であるファイサルはとりわけ高貴であったが、同時にその高貴さや気品ゆえに、民衆に多大な期待を抱かせ、それが時にファイサルを危うくさせた。そして私は兵士気取りの(ape=真似る)学者にすぎず、馬鹿馬鹿しいくらい、肉体的にも社会的にも、ファイサルに劣っていたが、にもかかわらず庶民の出ゆえ世事に通じているために、時としてファイサルは見えないものやファイサルが見ようとしないことも見ることができた。ファイサルが求める何かを与えることのできる力を私が手にしている間は− 立ちすくんだ。ほんの僅かなこの甘く切ない瞬間に私は感じ取った。互いの相容れないあらゆる点をきちんと見詰め合い、やがてその違いをはねのけ、挫けることなく克服し、互いの絆をより一層深く強固なものにしようとしているのだと。ファイサルは私の手を引き剥がすと、代わりに口元に引き寄せ、私の指の背に唇を押し付けた。ファイサルのところに訪れた族長たちがファイサルに挨拶する時のように。愛情と敬意の両方を込めながら……。

"Then let us stand watch over each other, Lawrence, and they will sing songs about us both."
「では、共にイェンボを守り抜こう(stand watch=stand guard=護衛する)、ロレンス。さすれば民は我々2人を共に賛えてくれることだろう」

Yenbo stood as quietly as a town deserted, only inhabited by the sherifiate troops who slid through the shadows like wraiths. Feisal and I took our posts amongst them on the Medina gate. I saw Zeid beside us, and Sharraf and Ali ibn el Hussein a little way to our right; all of the Hashemite leaders turning out to swell the ranks. Yenbo was their last stand before Mecca, and they preferred to die honorably here, if need be, than to be executed, which the Arab sherifs would certainly be if Mecca fell. Feisal's eyes looked enormous under the moon and the stark illuminations from the moored ships, his cheekbones standing out beneath them in sharp relief. He looked down at me in that moment, with the wind snatching at his clothes and the lights forming a corona about him, and smiled faintly, and I wondered if he was the loveliest thing that I had ever seen.
イェンボーはシーンと静まり返っていて、さながらゴーストタウンのような佇まいだった。そこではもはやシェリフ軍しか駐留しておらず、死霊のごとくひっそりと暗闇の中にうごめいていた。ファイサルと私は、メディナ門を死守するシェリフ軍の背後に陣取った。私は傍らにいるザイドに目をやった。シャラーフとアリ・イブン・エル・フセインは少し右寄りにいた。ハシミテ軍のリーダー全員が戦列に結集していた(turn out=繰り出す、swell the ranks=戦列を満たす)。イェンボーはメッカへと通じる最後の砦だ。いざとなれば(if need be=ことによっては)彼らは、処刑されるくらいならむしろここで名誉の死を遂げたほうがましだと思っているのだろう。万一メッカが陥落ということになれば間違いなくアラブのシェリフは処刑されるからだ。月明かりや停泊している船からの射るような(stark=grim/serious)光に照らされて、ファイサルの瞳は一際大きく見え、その下にある頬骨をくっきりと際立たせていた(in relief=浮き彫りにした)。その瞬間、ファイサルは私を見下ろした。風が彼の衣服を翻し、光はファイサルの周りに光輪を描いていた。そしてファイサルが微かに微笑んだ時、私はかつてこれほどまでに愛らしい存在を見たことがないと思った。

Our eyes were tricked into seeing movement wherever shadow crossed shadow on the flat mesas of sand. Several times there was a wild shot from fingers made too happy on the trigger, until Ali, furious, let a few bullets of his own fly over the heads of the culprits, and they settled down into an uneasy silence. We shivered in our places until nearly dawn, but no enemy came, and finally we rose in the thin, pale light, our bones stiff and our clothes soaked with dew, and gazed dumbly at one another, with the question unspoken: is it over? As we were feeling that we must know, or else go mad, Garland appeared, waving and yelling up to me. Word had come in from the outposts. The Turks had balked at the sight of Yenbo's unexpected defenses, hesitated, and then bypassed us in favor of Rabegh.
目の錯覚か我々は、なだらかな砂地の台地(mesa=米国南西部の台地)のあちこちで影が影に重なるように動くのが見えた気がした。興奮のあまり引き金の上で舞い上がってしまった(連中の)指から何発かの銃弾が乱射された。とうとうアリは激怒し、彼自身の銃から発せられた弾が不埒者たちの頭を掠めた。不安に満ちた沈黙の中、彼らはじっと身を潜めていた。夜明け近くまで我々は、ずっと同じ場所で震えていたが、1人として敵は現れなかった。そしてついに、我々は薄い暗い仄かな明かりの中で立ち上がった。骨は強張り、服は夜露でぐっしょり濡れ、お互い何も言わず目配せし合った。無言の問いを抱きながら。終わったのだろうか? その答えを我々は知っているはずだ、さもなければ自分たちの頭が可笑しくなってしまったのだろう、などと漠然と思っていると、手を振り大声を上げながらガーランドがやって来た。前哨部隊からの報がもたらされたのだ。トルコ軍はイェンボーの予想外の防衛ぶりを見て尻込みしてしまい進軍を躊躇し、結局、我々を迂回してラベクへと向かった(in favor of=あるものよりも…のほうを選んで)のだと。

Feisal called, and I scrambled to his side. He kissed me, then his brother, and said, "God has seen fit to spare us. Now we must use the time that he has given us as best we can." Then, shaking in sheer relief, he descended to rejoin his Bedouin, among whom the good news was just starting to spread.
「我らの命を神は助け給うというのだ(fit to do=口語:今にも…しそうで)(spare=命を助けてやる)。いざ最善を尽くそう。神が与えしこの好機を逃さぬために」

It could hardly be called a great victory that we had achieved at Yenbo, but neither was it a defeat, and, thankful for that, the most pessimistic of us were in high spirits all day. At about seven o'clock in the evening, I sailed out to the ships, and made a long report via radio to General Murray. It was the threat we posed to the railway, the Turks' lifeline, that had made Fakhri Pasha and his men delay in the past, and I thought that if we were to make attacks on the lines, the Turkish forces would have no choice but to protect it, and disperse themselves over the entire distance from Rabegh to Damascus. Having tactfully softened the approach, I added, "Wejh would make a very good base if we could take it."
我々がイェンボーで勝ち得た戦果はとても華々しい勝利と言える代物ではなかった。が、かといって敗北したというわけでもなく、おかげで我々のうちでも最も悲観的な性質の者ですら、その日一日中上機嫌(spirits=心持ち)であった。夜7時頃、沖に停泊中の英国艦に向かって船出した私は、マーレー将軍に向けて長時間にわたる報告を無線で伝えた。トルコ軍にとっての生命線である鉄道に我々は脅威を与えた(pose a threat to=を脅威にさらす)。過去、その鉄道はファクリ・パシャやその部下たちを再三に渡っててこずらせてきた。もし、この鉄道に攻撃を加えることができれば(be+to do=予定・可能)、トルコ軍はそれを防衛せざるを得ず(have no choice but to do=…せざるをえない)、ラベクからダマスカスへと至る全域に戦力を分散させなければならないだろうと。提案が押し付けがましくなるのを巧みに(如才なく)回避すべく、私はこう付け加えた。

Murray made indecisive noises for a while, then asked how large a land force I was volunteering, and I replied that Feisal expected to raise at least five thousand more men for the Hashemite cause, and was prepared to march with them if the British could guarantee Rabegh and Yenbo's safety in his absence. He snorted a bit and muttered that he could not even guarantee his sanity any more, but relented after a while, and said, "Fair enough. Tell Sherif Feisal that we'll level everything within five miles of Rabegh before we let the Turks get hold of it. I hear he believes anything without question if it comes from you."
しばしの間マーレーは決めかねるといった口ぶりだったが(make noises=通例修飾語を伴い:〜について意向などを口に出す)、終いには私にどのくらいの規模の陸上部隊を差し出せばいいのかと尋ねてきた。なので私は、少なくともファイサルは5000人以上のハシミテ信奉者を蜂起させるつもりであり、ファイサルの不在中、イギリス軍がラベクとイェンボーの安全を確保してやれるなら、ファイサルはいつでも彼らを連れて進軍するだろう(be prepared to do=…する心構えができている)と答えてやった。マーレーは僅かに鼻を鳴らすと、自分の正気を保つのでさえやっとのことだとぼやき、どうにか気持ちを落ち着かせると、こう言った。
「よし、いいだろう(Fair enough!=口語:提案などに対して「結構だ」)。シェリフ・ファイサルに伝えろ。トルコ軍が全権を掌握する前に、我々はラベクから半径5マイル以内の地域すべて破壊するとな。聞くところによるとファイサルは、君の申し出とあらば、何でも疑い無く信じるそうだからな」

"At least it comes from someone who he can believe," I said, and gave myself the satisfaction of being the first one of us to ring off.
そう言うと私は、マーレーより先に自分から電話を切る(ring off=電話を切る)(give satisfaction to〜=〜に賠償する)ことで自らを慰めた。

Feisal had been at the garrison in conference with Garland and Zeid. I met him there, and we strolled back to the house wrapped in our cloaks, breathing in the slightly salty air of the evening. We did not say much; rather, at times like these, we passed the point before which speech was a necessity for one of us to understand the other. I was contented, and I believe that he was too.

The servants, delighted with the treat of better facilities and appreciative diners, brought our meal on a grand scale; fool midammis, the broad beans cooked until they were soft and brown and served swimming in salted butter, roasted lamb jostling for space alongside stuffed peppers and herbs, and tiny hors d'oeuvres of pickles, fish and cheeses until we begged for mercy and waved the men away, leaving space to recline and scrape our plates, sluggish with satisfaction.
上等な設備と腕のふるい甲斐のある晩餐客(=ファイサルとロレンス)という趣向に機嫌を良くしたファイサルの家来たちは、とてつもない量の食事を我々に運んできた。フール・ミダミス(注:fava/pink/ソラ豆とレンズ豆を煮込んだエジプト料理。foul/fuul Medammesとも書く)という、茶色になるまで柔らかく煮込み、タップリの有塩バターと一緒に供されるソラ豆の料理(swim in/with=…で、あふれる)、子羊のローストの側には隙間を争うように胡椒とハーブが詰め込まれ、小さなピクルスのオードブルに魚とチーズといった風に……。とうとう我々は根を上げ、下げるようにと召使いたちに手で合図すると、場所を空けさせ、後ろにもたれかかりながら、皿に残っていた料理をすっかり平らげた。満腹のあまりノロノロした動作で。

I watched Feisal lazily, following each movement of his hand and bow of his head as he picked at the last morsels and licked the ends of his slender fingers, wondering how such a menial activity could be so graceful. The lamplight rose, died and flickered, racing about the floor and walls, the long shadows of our sleeves and skirts unfurling and moving like ghosts. I thought that perhaps this was what it was like to be intoxicated, transported to another level of awareness where all was strangeness and beauty, and the tiniest details, the sweep of an eyelid or the elemental dance of light on skin, became huge, indelibly etched on the mind.

A holy silence had fallen in the room, and I became aware that Feisal had ceased eating, and that both of us had been looking at one another for a long time.

"Let me show you how dining may taste all the sweeter," he murmured, taking my hand.
「食べるという(単純な)行為をもっと甘美なものにする方法を(all the+比較級=それだけ)教えてやろう……」

He took one of my fingers, then another into his mouth, licking gently, smoothing his agile tongue around the pads to extract the last flavors of our food, and the simple act seemed to me so intimate, so outrageously sensual, that the breath caught in my throat.

"Ah -" My exclamation was closer to a sigh than a word. He released me with a tiny sucking sound, and lifted his own hand to brush my lips, and I lapped at him, returning the favor, and listening to him whisper my name almost reverently. I found myself wondering in those moments if the Arab faith, that spoke God's name as easily as a man's own, and felt his presence in everything between the mosque and the cattle shed, might also feel his blessing upon pleasure and the pleasure that two creatures of his creation could share.

I swayed in the kneeling position that I had risen into, and Feisal's arms slid downward, wrapping loosely about my waist, as our mouths became fused together once again. We had kissed so before, but where it had once been a culmination, I was aware now that it was only a beginning. Feisal was hot-blooded, whereas I had hardly ever felt the need, but now it was cascading forth as from a long choked up spring, and I was a droplet lost in the current. Without releasing me, he too knelt, and I felt him for the first time, stiff and swollen against my abdomen. This sudden shattering of any illusion one might still carry about the lovers' embrace ignited a primitive fear in me, but in amongst it crawled a dark, thrilling serpent of vain joy, whispering, It is I who makes him so. We kissed madly for what seemed like another minute or so, until he fell to nuzzling and sucking a path toward my ear instead, and, once there, said in the softest voice that I had ever heard, "We spoke once of pleasing one another, Lawrence. Will you come to my bed tonight?"
ひざまずこうとして私はよろけてしまった。ファイサルは両手をすべり下ろすと、私の腰の周りにゆるりと回した。おかげで2人の唇は再び合い見舞えた(fuse together=連合させる)。2人は以前にもキスしたことがあったが、その時はそれが精一杯(culmination=最高点)だった。だがもはや私は気付いていた。これはほんの序曲に過ぎないのだと。ファイサルは熱血漢だったが、私はといえば衝動に駆られることなどめったにないほうだった。だが今や私の欲望は、長い間塞き止められていた泉が溢れた時の、滝のような勢いに満ち、私は潮流に飲み込まれるばかりのちっぽけな滴りにすぎなかった。ファイサルは私を離そうとせず、自らもひざまずいた。わたしは初めてファイサル自身を感じた。固く漲った膨らみが私の下腹に当たっていた。いわゆる恋人たちの抱擁というものに対して常日頃描いていたロマンチックな幻想(注:恋愛とはプラトニックなものであるという観念)が突然、跡形も無く砕け散ってしまったために、私の中にあった本能的な恐怖心が呼び覚まされた。が、その最中にあっても、邪悪で興奮にわななく蛇が、うぬぼれの余り有頂天になって這い出して来て、ファイサルをこんなにさせたのはこの私なのだと囁いた。2人は狂おしくキスをした。それはまるで1分やそこら続いたかように思えたが、次にファイサルは私の耳へと至る経路に鼻を埋め、キュッと吸い上げ(fall to=…を始める)、たどり着いた途端、生涯聞いたことのない程の、この上も無いくらい優しい声でこう囁いた。

"I am afraid that there is little I can give you when I am so inexperienced," I whispered. But my reluctance was becoming a sham, replaced by a hard, unrelenting ache to be with this man whom I had found as closely as possible.

"What difference do you think that that makes when every touch of your body now sets mine on fire? My pleasure comes from bringing you pleasure. Come to bed," he repeated gently, "please. Please."
「いまさらどんな違いがあると言うのだ? 君の体がどう触れようが、その度ごとに私の体は熱く燃えてしまうというのに。君の喜びは同時に私の喜びでもあるのだ。だからベットに来るんだ……」

He carried one of the lamps with us, and set it upon the floor in the room where he slept. Aside from Feisal's writing table, the only furniture in here was the bed, a fine, solid-framed thing, as far removed as it could possibly be from the cots we moved about with in the desert. This he lowered me onto, still maintaining our Siamese twin embrace, and the softness yielded beneath my field-hardened body so wonderfully that I could have cried.

Now he bent and kissed me again, my cheek and mouth, and, moving his lips to the pulse at my throat, said, "This is the last thing that I see before I close my eyes at night, and the last dream that I have before I wake: you undressing before me, fueled by a desire that matches my own."
「こんなこと、夜、目を閉じる前にこの目に映すことができるなんて、朝、目覚める前に夢に見ることができるなんて、まるで思ってもみなかった(the last thing=最も期待しなかった〜)。目の前で一糸纏わぬ姿となり、私に勝るとも劣らない欲望に煽られる君の姿を……」

I made a sound caught between a laugh and a sob. "But my hands are shaking so much that you will have to help me."
私は笑い声とも啜り泣きともつかない(caught between=〜の間に絡まる)声を上げた。

"Gladly and with delight."

As practical as Arab robes were, removing their many layers could be laborious in the extreme, but Feisal's hands glided around me so deftly that I had little to do but lock my eyes with his and arch into his touch. The heat in my groin was building slowly into an intense throbbing in which my entire being seemed to be centered. When he carefully eased down my drawers, I rose up, already almost fully erect, and nudged against his fingers, faintly disturbed, as always, at how my body was able to proclaim its needs so loudly without my conscious decision. Feisal, a look of pure wonderment in his face, let his thumb brush very lightly over my tip, and I leaned back and gasped.
いくらアラブのローブが実用的であったとしても((As)+形容詞+as… =譲歩)、幾重にも纏った衣装を脱がせるのは至難の業であったろう。だが、私の体の上を滑るように動くファイサルの手際はあまりに鮮やであり、私はなす術も無く、ファイサルの瞳に釘付けにされ、いつの間にかファイサルの手の中へと己自身を押し付けていた(arch into=〜に向かって身を反らせる)。私の股間にたぎった血潮は、徐々に強烈な鼓動を刻み始め、私という全存在がそこに集まったかのような錯覚を覚えた。ファイサルが私の下穿きを慎重に解くと、私自身がピョコンと顔を出した。既に限界まで張り詰めた状態で。そしてそれはファイサルの指をチョンと突き返し、私は少しばかり動揺した  −ファイサルにはいつも動揺させられっぱなしなのだが(注:前にザイドの件で赤面させられた)− 何と私の体は理性的な決断などかなぐり捨てて、その激しい欲求をはしたなく訴えることができるのだろうかと。純粋に驚いたといった表情を浮かべるとファイサルは、親指を私の先端に当てて、できるかぎり優しく撫で回した。途端に私はのけぞり、喘ぎ声を上げた。

He slid from his own clothes as gracefully as from a second skin, the lamplight glowing in all of the angles and hollows of his long, spare form. I drew back at the sight and covered myself, ashamed of my own insignificance, but he only took my hands and gently drew them away from my body again, which he then began to explore himself; a reverence that said, yes, I was beautiful to him. And for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful.

Urging me forward, he arranged us seated face to face, our legs half drawn up before us and mine parted and straddling his thighs, bringing our shivering bodies flush. His hands moved over me in slow, warm strokes, following the contours of my body like a map - the shallow hillocks down the length of my spine, the tiny burning peaks that my nipples contracted to when he circled and teased them - and I held on to his shoulders as to a port in a storm, alternately gripping and releasing as the waves of sensation rolled and ebbed. Feisal cradled my jaw and kissed me again, asking in wonder, "Is it true? You have never been touched by man or woman before?"
前に来るよう私を促すとファイサルは、互いの顔が向き合うように私を座らせた。2人とも軽く膝を立て、私は脚を割られ、ファイサルの太ももを跨ぐ恰好になり、互いの体は震え、たちまち燃え上がった。ファイサルの両手が私の上にゆっくりと降りてきた。温かい愛撫が、地図を調べるように私の体の輪郭を辿る。背骨を下ると小高い丘(=尻のこと)を登り、ファイサルが円を描くように撫で弄ぶとキュッと収縮する私の乳首はあたかも、小さな燃える頂といった風に。思わず私はファイサルの肩にしがみついた(hold on to=すがりつく)。まるで嵐の中に見つけた港に追いすがるように。代わる代わる、つかまえられては放り出された。寄せては返す感覚の波に翻弄されるかのように。ファイサルは私の顎を優しく掴むと、再び私に口付けた。驚いた様子でこう尋ねながら……。
「本当なのか? 君が今まで誰にも、男だろうが女だろうが、触られたことが無いというのは」


"Then I have won as precious a prize here tonight as Damascus itself."

For some reason, these words moved me to absurd sentimentality, and it was only desire, pushing aside all coherent thought, that forced down the lump in my throat. Feisal was hard and quivering against me, and our groins were slick with both our own secretions and each others. In perfect concert, we began to move, thrust, moan together, and I was swept at once into madness, begging him, please, for something that lay just beyond my grasp, more than satisfaction, a part of himself that I must reach whatever the price. We peaked almost immediately. He called my name in a long, shuddering breath, pulled his hands upward and grasped my hair in them instead, holding me desperately in another heartfelt kiss as his essence pooled and mingled with mine.
理由は説明し難いがファイサルのそのセリフは、私を滑稽なくらい感傷的な気分にさせた。そして何より激しい欲望が、まともな思考力というものを私から根こそぎ奪い取り、喉につかえていた感傷を(lump in one's throat=ぐっと胸につかえるもの)無理やり飲み込ませてしまった。私に当たるファイサルのものは固く震え、2人の股間は、自分自身やお互いの分泌液ですっかりドロドロになっていた。完璧に息を合わせて押し付け合うように2人は動き出し、共にうめき声を上げた。たちどころに私は狂気へと駆り立てられ、ファイサルに懇願していた。どうかお願いだからと。手の届かない(beyond a person's grasp=人の手の届かない所に)ところにある、満足以上の何かを求めて、どんな値段であろうと手に入れずにはいられない、ファイサル自身の体の一部を求めて……。ほとんどあっと言う間に2人は達してしまった。ファイサルは私の名を呼んだ。震えたまま、深々と息を吐きながら。両手を上にずらすと今度は私の髪の毛を両手につかみ、無我夢中で私を抱き締め、再び心のこもったキスを浴びせた。ファイサルの芳しい唾液が溢れ、私のものと混じり合った。

We sat with our limbs entwined, feeling the last weak pulses and spurts from my body and his. At last, Feisal lifted his head, and said, with a sigh, "I think that if a man were to turn his gun on me now, I should be able to die willingly, with this as my last memory." Then, "Does it not seem sad to you, that we had to wait until an uncertain time such as this to meet? I would have liked to have you at my side in Constantinople, when the revolt was but a vision, already fought and won in the mind of every Arab. That was a time for beginnings."
「今この瞬間、何者かが私に銃を向けたとしても(were+to do=実現性の乏しい仮定を表わす)、私は思い残すことなく命を投げ出すことができるだろう。今宵の思い出が私の最後の記憶となるならば……」
「ロレンス、君は悲しくないか? 2人がようやく出会えたのが、こんな明日をも知れぬ戦時下だったなんて。コンスタンチノープル(注56)にいた時、君が側にいてくれていたらよかったのに……。あの時はまだ叛乱など、まったくの夢物語だったが(but=米俗:まったく)、アラブ人は皆心の中で既に叛乱を戦い、勝利を手にしていた。あの時からすべては始まったのだ」

"When men who were not permitted to use Arabic by day dreamed in it at night," I said drowsily, "and the pages of every book in the universities seemed to speak of battle and honor."

"You read my mind, as always." He shifted his weight, and I sank onto my back without releasing him, so that my legs were wrapped about his waist and he lay above, the greater weight of him pressing me, beautifully helpless, into the bed. He sprinkled kisses over the white skin of my shoulders, and, between us, I felt myself stirring anew. I think I often forgot that physically I was young, that we were both still young yet. We were carrying responsibilities created for men twice our years.

Feisal's fingers, spread wide, skimmed over my heated flanks and up once more to my nipples, which he manipulated until the skin puckered and stiffened, then stroked in turn with his lips and tongue. I began to harden in earnest, and as my flesh spotted damp trails along his stomach, some odd, detached part of me wondered about the miracle of human physiology, which made it possible for him to provoke a reaction in one place by fondling another. He reached between us and took me in one hand, squeezing lightly.

"Tell me what you want," he whispered. I was unable to put the depth of my need into words, and lay gazing dumbly at him, not the half-mythical strategist who would lead a nation to victory, but very much Thomas Edward Lawrence who had led an odd sort of life and come to a still odder place in the arms of an Arab prince, and I felt that he saw all that I was in that moment and accepted me. He drew his hand along the length of my arousal, sweeping up moisture, and reaching around the curve of my behind, found my most private place. "This?"

I gasped at the feeling of his fingertip pressing into me, and my body jerked hard at the shock. Then he slid in a little further, asked, "This?" and began to stroke me inside, and my entire perception shifted. As quickly as I had squirmed away from my invader, I now began to bear down eagerly in the opposite direction, panting softly in surprise and attempting, by judicious swivels of the hips, to draw it further in. Feisal's smile grew radiant, and his tongue flicked almost imperceptibly over his lips. He moved closer, still petting me with several wet fingers at once, until the caresses slowed, and he was holding me open to him. I felt the touch of his hardness, slick and so very hot, nestling into me, pushing gently without entering. Once more, he whispered, "This?"

"Yes," I hissed, and he captured my mouth fiercely, swallowing my cry as his body entered mine. I thrust myself mindlessly and wantonly against the pain, feeling my muscles open up one after another like the folds of a burning flower to receive him, everything I feared and everything I craved. He moaned, a strange, primitive sound, and rocked into me enthusiastically. We writhed together, each the conqueror and the conquered, our union both fight and dance. Pushing in counterpoint to his thrusts at a certain angle brought pressure to bear on a place inside me, causing such spasms of pleasure that I would cry out. He seemed to know instinctively how to ply this hidden thing, rubbing across it time and time again; drawing one of my own hands to my hardness and placing his over it, stroking that too, until I shook and released myself over him, sobbing his name: Feisal, Feisal, Feisal. For a second we froze, wide-eyed, panting, our flesh bloodless where the others fingers gripped it, and then I felt him spasm, and the wet glory of his own seed flowed into me.
どうにか搾り出すような声で答えるとファイサルは私の唇を乱暴に塞いだ。ファイサルの肉体が私に侵入すると同時に発せられた私の悲鳴を飲み込むように。私は無我夢中で、はしたないくらいに自分から腰を突き上げた。激しい痛みとは裏腹に。私は自分の筋肉が一つまた一つと解されていくのを感じた。熱く燃える花の、折り畳まれた花びらが開くように。ファイサルを、私が恐れるあらゆるものを、私が切望して止まないすべてのものを、受け入れるために……。ファイサルはうめき、奇妙な獣のような声を発し、狂ったように私を攻め上げた。2人はのたうち合った。共に征服者と被征服者として。互いに反発と求愛を繰り返しながら。ファイサルの突き上げに合わせるように特定の角度を保ちながら腰を上下させると、私の内のある場所に圧迫されるような力が加わり(bear on=…を圧迫する, exert pressure=圧力を加える)、それが引き起こす強烈な快感の発作に私は泣き叫びそうになった。ファイサルは本能的に知っているかのようだった。この秘所(=前立腺)をどう攻めればいいのかを(ply=せっせと使う)。そして何度も何度もそこを擦りたてた。ファイサルは、思い切り張り詰めた私自身に、私の手を引き寄せると、その上から自分の手を重ねた。同時に扱くために。激しく身を震わせるととうとう私はファイサルの上で遂情した。「ファイサル、ファイサル、ファイサル」と、咽ぶように彼の名を叫びながら。一瞬、私たちは凍ったように静止した。思い切り目を見開き、激しく息を切らせ、互いの指が喰いこむ皮膚からは血の気が失せていた。やがて私は感じた。ファイサルが身を震わし、ファイサル自身の瑞々しい栄光が私の中に降り注ぐのを……。


TE Lawrence's journal

Yenbo, 13 December 1916:

Wireless buzzing all morning long, mostly with communications from Rabegh, where Sherif Ali, Feisal's eldest brother, has swung into some sort of action and mobilized his army, hoping to check Fakhri before his men are netted in a repeat performance of Yenbo. Murray finally called, having been engaged in deep discussions on Wejh, and now sounded more convinced. He wanted to liaise about setting up a skeleton unit to remain and guard Yenbo if Feisal and Zeid should march, and so I returned in the boat and went to Garland's quarters to inform him that he was required in an hour's time. He was snatching some long awaited rest, but flew from his bed, assuming in his semi-lucid state that Murray was at that moment driving through the town gates in person. When I assured him, with amusement, that the General was safely on the other side of the Red Sea, he groaned, cursed me a few times, and went to wash and eat.
午前中無線機がひっきりなしにがなり立てていた。そのほとんどがラベクからの通信であり、そこではファイサルの一番上の兄、シェリフ・アリが、素早く立ち回り自らの軍隊を動員していた。イェンボーの再演を免れ、二度と敵の術中にはまらぬようしっかりとファクリを見張っていようと。ウェジに関して白熱した議論を戦わせていたマーレーはついに(政府に)電話をした。今や十分確信し切った口調で。マーレーは政府に渡りをつけておきたかった。もしファイサルとザイドが(イェンボーを出て)行軍しなければならなくなった場合、イェンボーに駐留、防衛するため最低限の(skelton=人員・サービスなどの最小限度の)部隊を用意できるかどうかを。そのため私は船で取って返すと、ガーランドの宿舎に行き、1時間以内に召喚されるだろうと告げた。ガーランドは待ちに待った休息にようやくありついたところだったのに、慌ててベットから飛び出した。半分寝ぼけ頭で、マーレーが自ら(in person=代理でなく自分で)車を運転し、街の城門を掻い潜ってやって来ると勘違いして。大笑いした私は、安心しろ、今もマーレー将軍は紅海の反対側にいるとガーランドに請合うと、ガーランドはうめき声を上げ度々私をののしり、洗顔と食事をしに出掛けた。

Storrs found me giggling outside, and asked what the joke was.

"Oh, just sharpening Garland's reflexes," I replied, and told him the story.

When I was finished, he rolled his eyes, and said, "You're a fiendish little troublemaker - you know that, don't you? God help us all if they promote you when this is over. I hope that the Turks shoot your camel from under you and make you walk all the way to Wejh." Then he grew serious, and said, "I know you mean to go with Feisal. And I don't think he'd let you stay behind now even if you wanted to. It's a fine thing. If it doesn't rule your head." And he took his leave, this valuable man, who knew everything that there was to know about me, and still called himself my friend.
「君ってヤツは、ほとほと手の焼ける、とんだ(little=低い地位に反して大した、という意味を込めた反語)お騒がせ野郎だよ − 違うか? この件が一件落着してお前がこれ以上出世した日には、それこそお手上げだな(=もっと災難が増えるから)。俺はトルコ軍にお願いしたいよ。お前を載せたラクダを撃ち殺して、ウェジに着くまでの間ずっと、自分の足で歩くしかないようにしてくれって」

Feisal and I took a walk together a little before sunset, and I said to him, "We aim to put crowns on the heads of all of Sherif Hussein's sons. I suppose that when Arabia is won, I shall take to my desk again and while away the hours writing your dispatches."
「シェリフ・フセインの息子たち全員の頭上に冠を戴かせる、それが我々の目標です。(アラブの民の手によって)アラビア国家の樹立を勝ち取った暁には、私は再びデスクワークに戻り(take to=隠れ場を求めて…逃げ込む)、あなたの特電をしたためながら何時間も過ごすことでしょう(while away=時をぶらぶら過ごす)。

"When Arabia is won, I shall while away the hours making love to you in Jemal Pasha's bed," he answered, so gravely and yet with such a sparkle in his eye that I could not restrain my smile.

The voice of Salim floated through the evening, calling for me. Feisal folded me close, and kissed me on each cheek in the Arab salutation of greeting, parting and friendship, and I knew: there was no repugnance in surrender; there was ecstasy.

"Damascus," he said.

  "Damascus," I replied. I kissed him in repayment, and turned, heading in the direction of the garrison building, where Salim was still bleating like a rather tired camel.


カルツーム? カーツーム? スーダンにある。フセインとのパイプ役を務めた一番偉い将校のウィンゲイト(レジナルド卿?)がいたのでは? 英国人居住区に行った用事は不明。